I realised something.
You're actually nice.
And I went against myself when I put myself to block you out of my all.
I guess words can just make people go away.
Those words of yours, though not said.
But I read with it and felt the tone of it.
I knew you wanted out.
I knew you were in pain.
And I wasn't anywhere making it better.
So I decided to walk the plank.
If you know me, it's something that I dread and cannot do.
But I did. (for you if you must know.)
So you'd get your smile back.
I guess it worked.
But in truth. In order to do that, I made myself get so mad at you.
Mad to the point that I became pessimistic to everything around as well.
Like an inverted vision of my eyes and interpretation.
Somehow now, I read back my post. And how things that were misunderstood (that triggered the whole incident) shall not be revealed and repaired (then). But one day. One day it will be uncovered. But by then, you'd have already gotten back your happiness, your smile, your all.
I somehow guess that, that day is about to be ready. But I'll leave it to fate. I'll have to consider whether or not to post it because it's rather private and should only be for your eyes. Suddenly telling you would just be mean and could affect the current balance of everything you have.
I guess the only thing that can be done is to wait. Cos I'm ready.
I don't know if you are too.
I just don't want you to dive down into that same old pit again if it would just cause you all the pain and suffering. A rose isn't a rose if without its thorns. And that's what it is. That's what this is. That's what the problem with the mirror I see.
But I hope all's well for you. Honest to say, I don't know whether you still do read.
But, I hope for this you do. At least just this.
Cos now I'm relieved that everything's out in the open air.
Cheers! (=
Smile; and you know I am at you.
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