I lost control today. Everything I kept buried inside rushed to the surface. I just can't resist you. Things are so unreal. But what I feel when I'm with you is nothing BUT real.
Memories are too important, and if I don't write it down, I'd forget it. The playtime we had. The parties we had with drinks and movies, and the most I love was the chats we had. Our playtime is what I'd remember it by.
I left memories of you unwritten. Is it just me not having time? or do I unconsciously want to forget you? But you keep running through my mind somehow, never disappearing just reappearing especially when I really did needed you. Words just come to me when it's about you.
I don't want to forget.
It is what I want.
You are what I want.
But you're something I cannot possess.
Things are just so unreal.
You're so unreal.
I'm so unreal.
We both are.
Today will be different,it has to be.
I have a smile, and it will be believable.
My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you."
I gotta be someone new.
That's the only way I can make it through.
I have a plan to change who I was, create someone new.
Without a past. Someone just so alive.
But you can't escape them as much as you want to.
Just gonna make myself ready. For the good. I need it.
People say "I'm fine." But do you really every mean it?
I know the risks.
And what is life if you don't take risk.
It's scary. It's creepy. You know it's a fear.
But sometimes, doesn't being scared let you know you're on to something important?
Doesn't everyone deserve a choice to pursue what they want?
Doesn't everyone deserve a chance for love?
Doesn't everyone deserve to be given a chance? at least.
For the first time in a long time I feel good.
Should I go for it?
Honestly, I want to.
Secretly, I really do.
❤
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