Is love materialistic?

I'm trying not to tear up from other messages I saw.

...just filling myself with all these birthday blessings and love.

It's so hard to do so. 

So caught in between elation and depression.

But I know for your own good, 

I have to let you go even if I hate so much to do so.

What have I done to you? 

I don't want this. 

I don't know what more do I want.

Oh wait. I didn't even know to begin with.

I knew, but because of me trying to be you, I forgot what I wanted and now I can't have it no more.

I dressed up nicely for you.

Planned out how things would turn out.

Plan how I would look like, How you would look like.

And how our date will be like.

But no. Things had to happen and everything changed.

No more fancy frilly top for me.

No more prancing and trying to be a girly girl, just so you can show me off.

No more trying to be an anchovy.

It's all so depressing.

But when I stepped into that shop.

Listened to the song that was playing. 

Looked around at things.

Looked at music albums.

It all became clear, I saw that I loved YOU more than ever.

All I need is you.

But then would you feel used?

As a way for me to get over them? by pouring my love through and to you?

would you feel taken advantaged off? To be used as such a tool.

Would it be so hurtful because after that you see that I'm not loving you for you? Even if I am. Or maybe I'm just confused. I know not what I want. And you were just a shortcut I took because I kept going in circles with the other two roads. And just wanted to get away. To the nearest highway.

But I know I shouldn't want worldly things.

Don't want to be materialistic and so worldly although sometimes I do get tempted.

Does that include love? 

Is love materialistic?

Or is it even love? could it be mere human affection or lust for someone instead of something.

Is that even love? Do I want you meaning that I'm selfish and lustful? Does that mean I'm materialistic now? Fighting with everyone to gain your love. 

Should anyone answer my question. I shall be grateful.

But for now, all of this just queers me to it's fullest.

I shall just be here. WAITING.