Zero two hundred three five hours.

My first salt water; left side.

It's been so long since I last talked to her.

She was mad at me, but she messaged me to talk.

I realise that she needed a hug, even from so far away.

I wish I could reduce our distance somehow. 

To always be able to be there and give her a hug when she needs one. A shoulder for her to cry on. The ear she can tell all her sorrows to. The lips to speak comfort and hopefully sooth her broken heart. The arm she leans on for strength. Just being there to give her emotional support as she goes through all that.

I hate her lies.

Though they aren't exactly lies.

She only tells herself that and initially they were all lies, but after much repetition, she made herself believe them. She lives through them so perfectly that it scares me.

She tells me that she is doing alright and none of these matter.

"Love is so overrated, especially in the mortal world. So conceptual.

Everyone has their own meaning, and I think that I'm the fool for taking their love seriously. Giving them my heart. Opening that opportunity for them to see me at my most vulnerable."

She says those words but deep down, I do believe that she still wants and hopes to find someone right.

At least what she's doing now is awaiting for the right one.

I hope he comes before she loses herself.

She told me that she's forgotten how it feels like to be hugged, to be kissed, to even care sincerely that you'll go all out just to put a smile on that person's face. 

It hurts me to see her like that. She doesn't cry anymore. 

She seems so tough outside, but her tears I'm crying. 

It feels like I've lost her already. 

That kind hearted girl.
I can't find her anywhere in that body of which seems to be oh so familiar, and yet such a stranger. 

I honestly miss her oh so much.

I hate you for doing this to her!

She's just frozen in time. 

Everything and everyone moves forward, 

and so does her physical, but her heart doesn't.