Why will you not unfold yourself to me?

Dear you,

It has been raining since we last met.

As though the heavens know

that my heart is adrift.

To find a soul so beautiful,

and not being able to be yours,

when all I want is for you to be mine.

Nothing in this moment could be as excruciatingly painful.

Maybe in time I have become wary and worn of the games of the heart.

And I shan't partake in giving similar doubts and aches to another.

..hoping one day to be treated equally.

You; are the first I knew exactly - "it's you"

I want nothing more than to shout it to the world that you're my person.

I want nothing more than to be close to you, even if it's not to hold you.

To give you all the love in my heart.

To everyday, paint a smile on your face as you do mine effortlessly.

To be your comfort place.

To be everything you need.

..but for now, this burning love will just set ablaze in my heart.

Burning only myself in the wait, 

as periodic tears puts it out,

I hope you'll come to see and feel as I do you 

before my fire turns to coal.

For now, pretence should be my best of friend.

To wear a mask that conceals my passion for you - until a time you unfold yourself to me.

Dear self, take heart. 

Please don't take me for granted.

I'll stop chasing. I know the consequences. I know, all too well, the pain. Just so to see if you would stop to look back, and notice that I've stopped. 

"Turn your head and look for me," hopefully whispering in my head.

Aching.

Do you know what's scarier than not being in love? 
Falling out of love, and not knowing it had hit you 
but by that time, it all seems like it's a little too late.

Reaching you in time.

If the sun were to explode,

you wouldn’t even know about it

for eight minutes

And nothing in the world

gives me a heavier heart

than knowing I wouldn’t be able to reach you

before the world went dark

Falling, Crashing; still Standing.

Time and time again, 
we love people who we cannot have.
Falling in love 
with those whom we can't be with.

Nothing hurts more than being so near yet so far.

My little quirks, 
not all will accept.
My insecurities,
not all shall bear with.
My clingy heart,
not all so uncomplaining.

It's so hard to find someone who'd love you unconditionally.

This heart's forever searching,
for its one and only.
I think I have found you,
This heart is beating for you.

...but am I your heart's last falling?

We could be everything together. 
We can make each other happy.
Kissing each other freely, 
and love with great urgency, not hastily. 

Darling, wherever you are, I'll be here; waiting patiently.

Priorities.

Bruised.

Torn.

Used.

Worn. 

Putting what she thought should be first,

but seeing other things slipping away.

This.

That.

If only.
You.

Odds seems against this.

The decisions, the ones she had to make.

Frus.

Vexed.

Crust.

Taxed. 

I wish you knew.

Of these heart's aches.

No one wants to be alone in this game.

Fragments of what's real.

Lips so soft,

Eyes so deep,

Both telling me stories, of

Emotions I want to keep.

Hands so gentle,

Arms, I fond.

Fingers on mine, 

Love how they are untorn.

Shoulders so wide

Chest so warm

Your heart racing fast

On this face of mine

Everything's perfect

Oh what a delight!

Constantly I wish,

They weren't all just in my mind.

These eyes they shed

Haunting cold tears

Reminding me of us, perfectly

And everything else unreal.

Call me crazy

Or perhaps its true

But let me be baby

For all I want, is you.

Something Short.

How do you define love? Do you make people fall for you and feel a short damn moment of happiness? Then the next thing you do, dump them? If that’s how you define love then I should say you’ve loved me quite well.

The Mermaid.

The mermaid found a swimming lad,

Picked him for her own,

Pressed her body to his body,

Laughed; and plunging down

Forgot in cruel happiness

That even lovers drown.

Lone crowd.

: I’m telling you, there’s nothing wrong with being lonely sometimes,

 it’s okay, you’ll be alright.

Do you know why people hate to admit they are lonely? It’s because when you do, everyone thinks that something is wrong with you. They think “I have people in my life, why don’t you?” But the strange thing is, you can have people in your life and still be alone. 

Because sometimes people do…

A CALL FROM YOU:

Do you know how you make me feel when you call me? It’s like I won a lottery. It’s like I won a million prize. I want to hear your voice more. I want to hear you laugh. I want to hear your stories. 

I want to hear how you say you love me.

Jarred.

I've tried.

I honestly have.

But I can't find the key to this catastrophic mess.

Emotions locked away.

Is there any other mean of retrieval?

Or would it be for good?

Tell me there'll be another boxing day.

Meanwhile fill tears to my eyes.
cos I'll just be hoping for a good cry.

Some bad rhyming.

Hand in hand,

Arms wound tight.

Side by side.

Like left and right.

Two talk and listen,

with a gaze or two.

My eyes are fixed,

On only you.

Sipping your drink,

Stealing spoonfuls,

Pinching those cheeks,

which only I do.

Going on rides,

both in the car,

Stopping for drinks,

not way too far.

Glisten stars,

we often see.

Way way up,

like you and me.

Perhaps those were memories,

Though they seem so true.

Perhaps they were illusions,

Oh what a rue.

Wouldn't it be funny,

With a kick of scare,

If all this while,

Was some ghost affair.

Like the movie,

You saw, not me.

Though I peaked a little, 

Hoping not to pee.

Maybe like the movie,

At the end, it seems,

That it was a ghost story,

Where the girl gleams.

Random thought,

another 'what if',

Say if it were true,

What ever would you do?

Seeing Good from the bad.

Life changes every minute of everyday. You lose friends. You gain friends. You realize your friend wasn’t ever really your friend and the person you used to hate can make a really good friend. You look for love. You find love. You lose love. You realize all along that you’ve been loved. You laugh. You cry. You laugh so hard that you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn’t done that. You then learn from that and you’re glad that you did. You have your ups. You have your downs. You see good movies. You see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just a big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they are and glad that you’re you. You love life. You hate life. In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life, no matter what’s being thrown at you.

What used to be A Little Bit Of Heaven.

 

I remember what it's like to let yourself feel something for someone else, and to let them become a part of you. I remember what it's like to feel their fingerprints sink into your skin and to feel them linger even if it's been days since their last touch. I remember what it's like to have soft kisses on the cheeks, forehead, and nose as they're being shared in secrecy in the dark. I remember what it's like to have the hand of another nearby, just to reach out and grab when you need a little reassurance. I remember a lot of things about how it felt like, and all the smaller parts that somehow makes a person feel whole. I remember, I remember, I remember.

Words you say.

We’ve all been hurt by words before. So before you speak, think about how your words might effect someone else.

Reposting, just because.

This is someone dying while having an MRI scan.
Before you die, your brain releases tons and tons of endorphins that make you feel a range of emotions. Tragically beautiful.

Red rover.

"I don't iron his shirts.

I don't sew on his buttons.

I don't know all the jokes he tells,

or the songs he hums.

but he says he loves me,

and I believe its true.

Doesn't that make someone belong to you?"

Honestly as the days goes by, 

I keep wondering, where am I?

Where are you? and why are we not here, together.

Wondering why the tears.

Before I go to sleep, there you are.

After I've opened my eyes, and there you are.

Every single time I stare at red,

It just reminds me of you, laying right next to me.

Then it hits, and there's a sudden hollow space,

I remember that you're not here with me,

You're never ever gonna be here anymore, are you?

Maybe I could get rid of red.

The one thing that keeps me hooked to you.

Would you be like the egg I call you to be?

and appear out of the blue, just surprising me.

Maybe something random would be nice,

as long its anything with you.

Dearest red, would you stop being alike?

Hugging me  tight, while I sleep at night.

Watching me cry, singing lullabies.

What can I do to get rid of you?

Yet keeping you close; I just want you.

Fag end.

It's amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger. You will pass by them without a word. Without a single acknowledging look. This person, who once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past, is now walking right past you, seeing right through you.

Why?

 Her; She's in her room, sitting on the floor, blocking the door so no one bothers her. With the music up loud, playing his favourite songs, and all of theirs. She has her phone in her hand hoping and wishing he'd text or call. Makeup running down her face from all the tears she can't help from falling down slowly. Replaying all of their memories and fun times, but mostly their last conversation. Wishing she said things differently than she did, thinking to herself she'll never ever get him back.


Him; He's in his room. Laying on his bed, his phone off. The music on, with the volume up high. Stuff thrown everywhere. His eyes red from crying and the door locked so no one could enter. Replaying their last conversation in his head, thinking of what to do but not sure, so whatever, thinking so much, he's about to flip. Red hands from hitting things. What if she never comes back?