Heart's pain.

Planning to metalize my room.

Filling it with METAL. 

Metal songs.

Metal pillows.

Metal things.

Metallic blades.

Screaming to my heart's content.

Task at hand: 

SCREAM! ..so loud that no one hears me.

Shed bleeding tears.

Block out everything and EVERYONE that's getting to me.

Things to contemplate.

Should I forget you?

Should I just leave you and go to my grave?

Should I still want to see you?

Should I go find you?

Should I close my eyes and dream again?

I have always loved this picture. Now, even more. She's exactly how I feel right now. And tears flow just as much as I am. Lingering in the rain. My heart's hurting so much I can't see what I'm doing to myself. My eyes tearing so much that I can't see what I'm typing. My heart screaming so much that I just want to rip it out. But I know, it's back to the masking days for me. 

Today shall be a great day. It just has to be.

Tricking myself that pain is happiness. Sad is happy. And these tears I cry are all from rejoicing in glee.