Broken - Secondhand Serenade

In the moonlight your face it glows

Like a thousand diamonds i suppose

And your hair flows like the ocean breeze

Not a million fights could make me hate you

You?re invincible yeah it's true

It?s in your eyes where i find peace

Is it broken? can we work it out?

Let?s light up the town scream out loud

Is it broken? can we work it out?

I can see in your eyes you?re ready to break don?t look away

So here we are now in a place where

The sun blends in with the ocean thin

So thin we can stand across from each other

Together we wonder if we will last these days

If i asked you to stay would you tell me that you would be mine?

Or think that we are broken?

And time is all i ask for

Time i just need one more day

And time you?ve been crying too long

Time and you?re tears wrote this song stay

In the moonlight your face it glows

Is it broken? can we work it out?

Let?s light up the town scream out loud

Is it broken? can we work it out?

I can see in your eyes you?re ready to break don?t look away

Beginning of cries.

HE has a way to make everything better.

When its all sad and emo-y,

HE sends people, angels to comfort me.

My heart got shattered.

But everything was okay.

I didn't feel a thing when you said it.

But then, I started thinking.

..thoughts so innocently dangerous as you may say...

Now, teary eyes are haunting me.

They want to fall,

But NO, they resist.

Moments of silence,

with countless of people.

But..

Finally we talked,

Finally it's said.

Now do they fall,

like leaky taps

that's bursting with bliss.

Looked in the mirror,

and asked,

"..why is that human leaking..?"

No answers replied.

Just silent bell ringing.

Sometimes I don't know what's right to say.

I'm afraid of the words,

with prickly thorns, you say.

Nothing can possibly finish this,

the tale has not end.

So here I leave with nothing but

words of The end.

Meta-Confusion

I wish I could.

I would if I could.

I know I shouldn't.

But i didn't for you.

I say I don't lie.

I said I won't cry.

But all I did was lie;

worst in front of you,

with tears falling like snowflakes all night.

Its like my fault.

To have done what I did.

I thought I should,

but now I wish I hadn't.

It hurt when you say I hurt you.

I never meant to hurt you.

I can't stop thinking how much this pain is.

The pain of how brutal it is to see you sad.

No one really ever needs this much thinking.

I do wish I would stop thinking.

But I somehow can't stop thinking about you.

You somehow became my drug.

I have alot of I(s),

and the part where you said we;

will never die.

...is it broken?

Or has the broken just been mended?

I've been so pessimistic about everything. I know I have. You can see that I have too. But you know something? I've come to know that you have become part of my pessimistic life and metamorphically morphing me into a colourful emo being. Laughs. You know how much I love it. I appreciate you FrenchTeddy! Bet on it and I'd never do anything to hurt you.

I don't see how I could with such a cheeful heart, such witty mind, such brightness, super kindness and not to mention all the hearts. I love my kidTeddy. ❤

Choices

Sometimes its so funny how people say they don't have a choice to anything.

Everyone HAS a choice.

It's their choice whether to choose or not.

And saying that they don't have a choice is also part of choosing to say it,

and if one is so unpleased with the things that's happening, then well, is it then right to blame others? or just yourself for not standing up for what you think is right?

Laughs.

Its so funny, like seriously when you see people say they don't have a choice,

But all I see in front of me are people who don't make choices,

and other people makes it for them.

When things turn out sour, they start blaming the others.

People have choices.

Its only easier to say that we don't.

(and some, so that they do not need to get all responsible for whatever happens to it.)

Even people who say they don't have a group or don't belong in a group,

STILL, there's a group for those who are deemed outcasts.

So that just proves that even not belonging has a group to belong to.

And not choosing or chasing what you want is also just a choice not made.

Cheers to making choices!

Cherio ❤

"I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime."

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Emotional Me

I had one of those moments again, when one goes into an emotional wreck and just kind of lose control of their feelings. Well, for me, I call it my "emo" stage.

Was having one of those pessimistic moments.

(But I'm better now thanks to my teddy; though Teddy does not like me calling teddy Teddy.)

Laughs.

From that emo moment,

and the chat,

well, I've come to realise how come some people can't keep their promise.

Or just become jerks like people who say "I'd love you forever."

which is so bull because not all people DO fulfill what they say.

The sentence which caught my attention for the day was...,

"...it's how I feel at the moment.."

So I guess that's why people can't fulfill them.

Cos prolonged, some people eventually lose their feelings; at-the-moment-feeling.

Does this mean that they broke their promises? (if they did promise)

Or does this mean that they didn't think of it through?

As how in Chinese they have this saying, "gong ye mou geng guo dai lou"

literally translating it to "say things didn't pass through the big road",

meaning that some people say without thinking.

Or that they just forgot? or didn't mean it?

Or that, because of their feelings, which is apparently missing, it is an excuse for them to go breaking or not upholding their words?

So the question is that, are words really meant to be kept? ONLY at the moment?

Honestly, it is confusing.

And hurts my mind thinking about it.

Cos maybe I think too much.

But anyhow, I guess the simplest way is to just listen and have no expectations in it.

But it's just sad to have no hopes or something to look forward to with this thinking.

However, risking getting hurt for that few moments of hopefulness, doesn't really seem the worth.

Laughs.

So I guess, life will always be both easy and hard.

But we continue it to hope for the better.

The things we do to be happy and sad at the same time.

Chuckles at life.

Way to go people!

Don't let life or certain people get the best of you!

加油! "Jiayou" (in Chinese for "add oil" which basically means to keep up the good work/ continue to strive on! )

Cheers.❤

Cupcakes vs Muffins

Every time when I'm suppose to be studying,

I somehow get sidetracked to doing something else.

And weirdly, I don't exactly know how I ended up popping to this question:

"What's the difference between a cupcake and a muffin?"

Do you know the difference?

Well, I didn't go check / Google what is or are their differences because,

the pictures says it all.

Now imagine a Butterfly and a Moth.

And you'll see the difference right away. (:

Cupcakes and Muffins;

From their outer appearance,

it's kind of obvious.

As for its taste,

...well, that I'm not so sure.

Haha. But both are equally good in their own ways.

So, without looking at what I'm going to write at the bottom of the pictures,

try guessing what they are.

Let's see if you're lucky.

And by the way, this gorgeous muffin picture (above) was from Flickr.com.

Where alot of the pictures in here are from too.

So anyways, back to the muffin and cupcake thing, some of you might have guessed which are the muffins and which are the cupcakes.

So the answer is.......

That the cupcakes are the ones more decorated and colourful and more attractive.

The muffin is usually brown, or just chocolate brown. Hardly decorated.

So tadaa! Claps for those who got it right!

And for those who didn't, still claps for the sportsmanship!

So don't they look just like the butterfly and moth concept?

Giggles.

For more info about how cupcakes and muffins differ from each other,

here's a website which kind of compares them both,

from ingredients, appearance, to even their history!

(Laughs, so I did actually do my homework after all. :P )

In summary,

1.Cupcakes and muffins are similar in shape

but a cupcake uses a cake recipe and a muffin uses a bread recipe.

2.Cupcakes have been popular confectioners’ treats for years while muffins only gained popularity as coffee houses began popping up across the country.

3.Cupcakes generally have more sugar and frosting and are popular with kids while muffins are made with a variety of stir-ins and accompany coffee.

Lastly, just for laughs,

here's a muffin joke for all you muffin lovers.

(Credits to U.A.E for it)

The muffin said: Why can’t I be cute like the cupcakes?

I replied: Don’t feel bad... you’re ugly… but in a cute way =P

The muffin said: But I want to be CUTE !!!

I replied: Sorry… but… once a muffin… ALWAYS a muffin XD !

The muffin said: Eat shit !

I replied: No… I’ll eat you ! Nyahahahahahahaaaaaaa !

So, that's all for now. Cheers!

Until next time❤

Small things.

Like the saying,

"Its the small things in life that makes it all worth while."

"To enjoy the little moments in life."

To enjoy it all.

The little laughs.

The little nifty stuffs.

All the cute stuffs.

Even chocolates are small. (haha)

So here are some of the things I found in my room.

Small cute yummy stuff.

-Pencil; I used as a mustache ❤ ^~^

-Red dog; Patrick! ❤

-Little cow; my pencil case.

-Tiger; a gift from a friend ❤

-Sunflower Lollipop; memories with friends buying lollies. ❤

-Chocolate; yummy! ❤

-Smile; just because all those things make me happy! ❤

Chuckles

So, cheers to all the small things in life.

Don't get too distracted by the big stuff when all the small are so good!

Cheers! ❤

Hero of the night!

Creepy crawlies of the night

Come out to play when there's no light.

When creatures of the dawn are not in sight

Their eyes are closed but vamps' fangs in flight.

(by me) Weee~ :3

My hero of the night. LITERALLY.

Cos my hero is a VAMPIRE. ^w^

With fangs and maybe claws.

Like how a vampire may be like.

But an bubbly personality which everyone can't resist.

Vampiee here helped me solve the problem I had about my internet line;

Which was being so so so mean on me.

Like literally bitch-fitting on me for no reasons at all.

Well, like I said, if you can't solve it alone, get backup or some pros to help you.

And well, this one was like angel sent!

Vampiee came to the rescue =D

..even without me going out to find one; I might add.

At the end of the day,

Vampiee found out that someone was actually blocking my access to the net. -dayum!

ROARS. curses to whoever it/he/she may be.

So the actual whole main point of this post is a tribute to that special Vampiee who is a pro in IT.

HaHa. You know who you are (:

And also sorries for keeping Vampiee from hunting for food tonight,

just to fix, solve the devil's tweaks.

Thanks again Vampiee (:

By the way, I guess you must be wondering what's with the colourful "Vampiee(s)".

Long story short.

I wanted to know what is/are Vampiee's favourite colour(s).

And Vampiee asked me to guess. Throwing words at me like Black, White, Apple, McD.

Haha. So, this is MY conclusion of it all.

Vampiee : (Green) for the apple, and also colour of Vampiee's msn pm :3

Vampiee + Vampiee : The colours of McD.

Vampiee + Vampiee : (Purple & Blue), Cos randomly I like those colours. -HaHa!

Vampiee : (White) Vampiee's favourite colour.

Vampiee : (is suppose to be BLACK) But you can't really see it cos of the background. Is for Vampiee cos besides WHITE, the other favourite colour is black!

Cheers! ❤

It's a fictional story after all.

Someone once told me,

"You can't always be the good person"

and that you can't be a superhero.

Superheroes; they save others.

Do all the good deeds there are in the world.

Being good to everyone, even the villians.

They are bounded to goodness and restricted with the thinking that they cannot get rid of the baddies no matter how bad they are.

From some point today,

I wanted to be that superhero.

Bounded to be good and all.
But not being able to speak my mind.

Always saying Yes to every idea, even if it is really bad.

and putting up to everyone's crap;
Is something I can't do.
Superheroes may be able to. But mere mortals like myself would rather die than to go through that restriction to express.
So if you can't be neither the victim nor the superhero,
and being a bystander is no option,
The only left default is to be a villain.
And sadly, I became one today.

Had to make the hardest decision ever today.

It was down to friendship or work.

Which would you choose?

For the benefit of others, yourself or your friend?

Some would choose friends over work.

I'm not a workaholic of any sort but the grades are important to me.

This may sound so self centered,
So selfish,
So heartless.
And I know it is, yet, I did it.

It was partly for grades.

It was partly for myself.

But that friend of mine was equally pass the line.

Its no one else's fault but our own.

My dear friend,

I was merely telling you from a friend-to-friend perspective of what I see that is pulling you down. No one told you what it was. Even though everyone saw what it is.

The thing is that we shant be able to be in the same team.

This however does not have to cause us our friendship,

the good times we had.

You know we had them, though not much but the little that we had was all fun.

I pray you will improve on the flaws I told you.

I know I am not perfect as well.
But I try to be aware of whatever crap I did wrong.
To you I must say;
Don't look at the saw dust in other's, but the plank right in front of you.

I don't regret what I have to say to you.

But I'm not proud of it either.

I know I hurt your feelings,

cos if I were in your shoes,

I would have stabbed myself for saying those knifeful words.

I hope we would still be friends.

My expectations aren't high.

I shant want anything.

But for now, just time to heal what has now bled.

At this point,

Sorry isn't the hardest thing to say.
Its the look which I should see.

The voice the I should hear.

That makes words of sentences that I should tell you hard to say.

Everything seemed so easy in my head,

But so hard when its out of it.

The eyes told me you were hurting.

My heart pains with every beating.

I'm sorry.

It's never nice to hurt another, and I should know.

And with the wholeness of my heart, I'm saying sorry.

No one should go through that much pain.
Just so you know, no matter how much you slice water, it will never break.

I hope the cold war will fade.

So the ice won't break.

This is all I can pray for.

Again...

I'm sorry my friend.

Unexpected Dinner

I love my dearest MOMMY ❤ so much!

She's the most thoughtful-est person ever!

Not to mention She's the BOMB!

Love her so much.

Just out of bloom she does the most thoughtful thing.

By the way, here's my mommy!

With the Christmas present my bro and I got her (:

Ain't she just pretty? (:

❤ L O V E ❤

So, I wasn't back home this week.

Stayed at my hostel with no homecooked food,

and she knows that I don't really cook at my hostel

due to the fact that there's technically NO kitchen.

She then sends over Quiché!

(via her friend's daughter whom is my campus-mate)

Quiché!

What is it?

A tart filled with rich unsweetened custard;

often contains other ingredients

(as cheese, ham, seafood or vegetables)

Yummy tomatoes. Its all good! Can't get over how awesome it is!

M o m m y ! ❤

So, here's how it looks like.

Has loads of cheese!

Cos mommy knows I love cheese ^~^

Love it alot!

Thanks mommy ❤

Gone Up and Down.

Ups and Downs.

Like who hasn't heard of it?

Well, if you do not know what it is, then the ups are basically more or less happy things.

and when things are going in your way.

Downs are the bad-things. That basically makes you feel down.

So here are the things that makes me go Up high and Down low; like somehow drastically from my origin state or 'normal' (if you know me). The summation of it all.

So, good news or bad news first?

Haha. Lets start the the not so good and end with the happy.

So my not so happy news this week is that I'm so infected with Trojan!

The nasty little devil has gotten its way into my laptop, pendrives, hard disk and EVEN my friend's pendrive and laptop :\ *bummer*

Trying all means and ways to get rid of the little devil.

Somehow, isn't working YET.

But ain't going give up. Its just the beginning.

Sometimes, if you can handle things alone, no one says you can't call for back up. (:

That's what friends and other people majoring in their expert fields are for.

Haha. If all efforts fails me, then I got to revert to some pros. (:

So, basically, that's the only thing that's kind of screwing with me so far.

Ah ha!

There's another where, its not so much of either an UP or DOWN.

Its sort of a neutral course, but that's me. If it would have happened to someone else, well, the results might be chaotic and filled with drama.

Involves those "BGR" thingy.

And the guy was kind of a 'flower heart' aka Player.

And after having that girl as his girl. after few minutes, he broke up with her.

like LMAO. too funny right?!

and I do mean that SARCASTICALLY 'funny'.

So anyways, this is just to tell the girl in the above situation; do not just simply fall for a guy, who knows he might just end up being a total jerk.

And to the total jerk, do not just play around with feelings. It might seem cool in some kinky perspective of yours but ITS SO NOT!

Well, I believe what goes around comes around. You'll reap what you sow.

And this goes to all males and females; vice versa.

No human deserves to be played especially not with their feelings.

GROW UP and get a life. tsk.

Quit messing with other people's lives.

You're murdering a soul with every stab they take to their hearts.

How would you feel it you were stabbed multiply in the exact same manner full force? --Ain't a pretty feeling.

So anyways, back to the 'UPs and DOWNs'.

By the way, doesn't this picture of the doggie just gives you that warm tingling feeling inside?

~Awww. Smiles!~

So, I guess the Ups of my this week is that I made some pretty awesome new friends.

And I love having those sophisticated conversations even though they might be at times lame and crappy to others, but its a hell lot of fun for me (and hopefully the other person too). (:

And not to mention I had tons of hours spent with my darling buds this weekend.

And my brother is coming home for holidays the coming weekend! GLEE!

Can't wait for all of that family moment to come!

Its coming to the end of April.

Really quick how time flies.

And my exams are queued next in line.

Fingers crossed. PRAYS hard.

Hoping to ace all of it. And have an awesome semester break.

So everyday my note to self would be to STUDY.

Haha. Best of luck to all who are having exams too (:

Until next time, when I'm taking a break from all the books (including Facebook).

Cheers! ❤

My latest Obsession

In times when you're all alone,

need someone to comfort you.

Someone loyal.

Something loyal.

That could never actually die.

Or at least not desert you or awol on you.

For me there's only two that's technically with me especially when I'm all alone.

First is God.

Second is Mr. Teddy over here.

We've shared tears and joy.

And lots of jokes both good and bad.

Teddy oh teddy.

I shall keep you warm always as you have during my ups and downs.

Now, YOU've become my teddy.

(You know who you are.)

So be nice or you'll have your stuffing out!

Haha. Jokes.

Cherio (:

Degradable?

To cheapen a thing.

Putting down someone's name.

Reducing the worth or character, verbally.

All these demeaning acts,

Definitely I've known of its existence.

But I never knew one could degrade the meaning of "LOVE"

What is in the word is love?

Love; strong positive emotion of regard and affection.

Love; any object of warm affection or devotion.

Love; a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction.

Love; someone who is loved. (endearment)

Love; a friendly form of address. (informally)

So by attaching a "I" and a "You" at the front and back of the word "love"

you can see the meaning of it.

It has no exact definition of who it SHOULD be said to.

And saying it to everyone (who matters to you) doesn't mean that it means nothing at all.

It has a significant meaning.

And even though there are some people who misuse the words to take advantage of other people does not mean that everyone does.

Love, what is it when I tell you "I love you"?

Brotherly?

Sisterly?

Family?

Lover?

Object? ~ Music, Food, Drinks ~

or is it..

Puppy love?

Agape love?

Adoration?

Crushes?

Romance?

infatuation?

Whether it's..

Emotion

Matter of substance

Lover/ Mate

Physical attraction

Desires

Concupiscence

You cannot be certain what I mean by it.

So don't judge me with the assumption from one person,

That one person who gives the meaning of love a bad name.

You can bet it with my life that I mean what I say when I say those 8 letters, 3 words in one sentence.

And if you ask me.

Is it degradable?

No.

Its mere expression of affection towards another.

And if you are fond of the person,

To me, its okay to keep reminding the person of how loved and appreciated he or she is in your life and that someone is still there for them if they need anyone to lean on for support.

And I don't care if some of you have some queer mind thinking that only the word "ILY" can be said to lover. That's so so so shallow by the way, well..to me anyways.

So, that may be your perception, but I have my own.

And its just my way to express my love no matter family, friend or mate-kind to YOU all. (:

So at the end of all this,

I love you (:

~ so go thinking what you may and get creative with what it means.

for if you know me, then you'd know what meaning is it for you (:

If you still don't know then well...

ASK THE PERSON FOR CLARIFICATION!

Don't go assuming and make an ass of everyone.

So Cheers!

Where's the voice to be heard?

Sometimes I dare not.

Afraid I might lose my sanity,

To following what I think that should be.

The thoughts I keep,

The emotions I hide.

I wish there would be someone for me to confide.

The splendour of having someone to know you better than you do yourself.

Needless for words to explain yourself.

Just a look at one's eyes and you'd know what they're thinking.

Silently wishing and hoping for that someone to come along and read my mind,

and tell me what I don't want to hear.

The true secrets which my tears tell.

This heart here hurts alot.

Weird to have tears that would not show.

They are too much hidden; like myself,

The mask that was on

The mask that was on for way too long,

It has shadowed my true skin.

This girl here is crying.

Seeking for help from way right here.

If only her voice could reach those willing ears.

Stubbornly, her mouth does not have the will to speak of what thoughts she has.

There's a cold war of the mind and mouth.

Voices inside desperately wants to scream,

but being the middle person has screwed it of its part.

It's now down to the heart,

where emotions are kept.

Even where the last known voice of the girl may also be seen.

Not a solution to this.

Not a fair judge to be.

To hear her cry,

or at least let her cry,

that's all it could be.

No words

No pain

Just plain Nothing.

❤

Sunny Rain Fever

Funny weather we have here.

Its constantly at its temperamental behaviour of being so hot yet so cold at the same time.

Its like the clouds here are having a bitch fit all the time.

Yesterday, it rained til tiles dropped off from the roof of my house and the neighbour's.

(From the picture below, those red red blotches are the broken tiles.)

*and Thank GOD my car wasn't parked at that place cos usually that would be my parking area (cos else where are FULLY parked.)

-Westlake has lots of cars! Its crazy insane! :D

And before it rained, it was cooking hot,

and if one were to sit in the car just long enough, or tied to a BALD tree long enough, they might just actually get cooked.

~hmm.. yummy~

And this here, is the picture taken yesterday evening. at around quarter to 7 pm.

Looking at it makes me feel HOT though the colours are so lovely in a warm way (:

And this is the noon's sun. It might not be all that, but its rays scorches the skin. My skin is like 2-3x a darker tone than before. GOSH! And mind you, this was taken while in the car. Haha. Was too afraid to embrace its heat.

Usually, the sun would be this hot and moments after that, it will suddenly breakout into a massive cat and dog rain!

This here is how heavily it had rain.

Btw, this pic was not taken by me. Adapted from J-on.

Just to illustrate how heavily it rained. (Picture was taken on 13th April 2010)

So aside from all these weird phenomena, the place where I'm at is still same old same old.

So, Happy Sunny Rain Fever everyone! (: ♥

New blingy love!

What What What's new today.

(mimicking the song by Jason Derulo - Whatcya say)

## Tadaa ##

The new blingy thingy I got this week!

Phone & Accessory! ❥

The awesome thing is that the accessory is actually kind of a charm bracelet (:

and there every charm represents someone and something important to me (:

The ♡Guitar is for those who love music.

And for that someone who plays the guitar which is serenaded to someone ^^

The ♡Heart represents my family and loved ones. (you know who you are yal)

The ♡Smiley face and the adorable ♡Watermelon are both my dear and darling.

(lovey you guys)!!

Lastly, the ♡Camera would be me, for my love of taking lots and lots of photos; and still owe some.. I mean ALOT of pictures of events to alot of people! (will upload at fb soon!)

Can't wait to get more and more charms to represent more people in my life.

Will be flooding my bracelet way lots! Haha.

Until the next post then.

Cheers! ♡