Jailbreak please.

All's well that ends well? I think not.

And just when you think nothing could get any worse,

it comes whopping you right at your head!

Well, to know this story, we need to rewind back to yesterday night at about 2100hours.

Mandy and I were talking about going back to campus. When and what time to leave for hostel, which was initially today; 29th May. Then somehow a friend asked about going to the movies before going back. So we set to meet at noon for movies then go back to the hostels on Sunday.

Noon, Saturday, 29th May 2010.

Mandy called me. I woke up to her call after she rang me 3 times. I realised I was late for our date. I dash off to wash up and get ready for the outing. 1230hours I was all done and ready to leave. I reached for the keys from my bag's front pocket but nothing. I opened the mid pocket to search thinking I might have misplaced it, and still nothing. I practically ransacked my whole entire house looking for that one bunch of keys of mine. GAWDDD.

It's 1250hours, and the movie was at 1330hours. And I was STILL stuck in the house. With no key at sight. No spare key in sight too. I was on the verge of breaking down due to recent events. Finally after multiple messages to my family, then I got a reply on 1300hours. Apparently the spare key was at home; somewhere. I searched for it and found it. My heart leaped with joy. I managed to open the front door. Skipping to my room to get my bag, I came out to realise that I could not open the front gate. Another failed attempt. Screaming all the way inside.

So up until now, I'm still jailed home. And I found out multiple uneventful noes events. Some rather depressing I might add. It brought me to tears. But after much tears, I do feel better. I recall Teddy saying "You're like a baby. You forget everything after you cried." Well, it's not forgetting to be exact, but a slight amnesia which I guess is my defense mechanism to help keep me sane from all the threatening events that's potentially causing or have caused me breakdowns. But anyway all that sober has given me quite a migraine. So, fare thee well. Hopes and prays hard for myself to find my keys soon.

Cheers all.

Pretendency strikes again.

Mascara's running.

and these water-proof eyeliners are now lanes of tears, telling where each tear has gone.

Nothing can stop these salty water of emotions from flowing.

Everything's coming in a rush.

Just pouring in like dusk.

It's like an adrenaline rush of emotions.

That girl sits in the corner.

Smothered with all that's in motion.

Slowing losing control of all.

Everything's so noes now.

Small things can be made into a big fuss.

Everything's just magnified.

All she can do is cry.

Her heart's shut,

she doesn't want to be hurt.

But those in her heart are already leaving one by one.

She thinks hard of what to say,

but all that comes out is tears.

Her heart hopes it is all a dream.

Like a doll in an awful nightmare.

And when she wakes up, everything will be okay.

She tries and tries to sleep.

Then wakes up really thinking that it's all a dream.

But that didn't seem to be the case.

Mascaras and eye liners are now all gone.

Washed away by the salty waters of emotions.

Now all that can heal that sliced up heart of hers is time.

Time to get over the fact that people will come and go in life. And that's something one has to deal with and take it as it comes.

But that doesn't mean it's the end of a friendship or a relationship.

The heart will always be there.

Pictures and memories.

She tells to herself that being sad will not help the situation.

And will not help others get through it any easier than it is.

Be happy she said.

At least you can infect them with joy and laughter,

and then get rid of the sadness and anguish.

Sometimes putting on a mask bluffs the emotions of our soul.

She picks up the mask slowly, saying to herself,

"you can't go back now. Put down the past and move on."

..and puts on the mask of pretendency.

"It's not gonna help to put on a smile when all you wanna do is cry, a mask isn't gonna compliment what you already are..." -- The photographer of the picture.

The one and only.

He's my one and only!

Aside from mom and dad, he's the first to have my hugs, my trust.

I love him so dear.

My beloved brother.

I've missed him so dear. He hasn't been home for 60 days.

Two months ago, he went for NS; National Service.

And now he's back !

Just in a matter of hours he'll be home, sweet home. (:

Can't wait to see him!

He's so much tougher now.

So much more independent.

Makes every sister proud. (:

Another picture of him while on a trip at Penang.

Though he's all grown up, and more self-dependent,

He'll always be my dear little brother.

Just can't wait to hug him now.

This is my one and only bro and me. LOVES.

He is so not over her.

He is so not over her.

He tries his best to put a smile that says, "She's so last news, I'm fine". But in reality, it's killing him inside. He misses her. He thinks of her all the time. Everything just reminds him about her.

He plans to tell her how he feels.

He plans to express what's just suppressed and repressed all these while.

He drinks to forget.

He drinks but regret.

It's just insane threat.

She told him to smile. Just one big smile to forget about the other her.

Just being happy once, sincerely, and it kind of erases a bit of the sadness and the frown on his face which should be the other way round.

Booze was his technique he said. He couldn't smile. Not without torturing himself in the process of it. So, Booze.

She then says,

"Booze gives you amnesia, but it's only temporary. And one day you'll realise that it's not a solution."

Friend to friend she told him not to be an emo-whore.

Guys who are just so desperate aren't so much fancied. They just appear whiney and babyish. A definitely two big NO NOs to desperation.

Now all she can do is to give encouraging words. Keeping his head and mind busy from falling back into that pit of misery. You'll be dazzled to know how much some encouraging words and little hugs can do to boost a person up.

She just thinks to herself, wondering why so many people around her are having problems. Including herself. It hurts just as much to see another person who's going through almost the same thing as she is. She just sits there, staring at people with problems that come her way. But honestly, it didn't really bother her much.

It's just people with flaws loving others with flaws. It's an unfair world. But not the Creator who does things with reasons.

I do hope that everyone, both he and she will be happier.

Friends, be happy always.

My personal quote,

"If being sad canchange anything.

if it could, i would be depressed by now."

That's all I've got so far.

Cheers.

Beautiful People.

An awesome singer and song which I heard from Oprah.

If you're wondering who the singer is,

His name is Andrea Bocelli. An Italian pop tenor.

Born in 1958, at Lajatico, Tuscany, Italy.

He has a great passion for music, and is really gifted with an awesome voice.

And just for your info, Bocelli is blind.

He was diagnosed with Glaucoma.

Glaucoma is a disease in which the optic nerve is damaged, leading to progressive, irreversible loss of vision.

And from a football accident, he lost his sight completely at the age of 12.

So, that's about Bocelli.

Now about the song which brought tears to my eyes.

Yet warmed my heart. Making it skip a beat and wanting to do flips.

"The Prayer."

Though the song was a duet of Bocelli and Dion, for the movie Quest of Camelot.

But I came across this video clip where I simply just love Heather Headly's voice.

I hope this song will touch your hearts just as it has mine.

Enjoy. (:

LYRICS:
I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know.
Let this be our prayer, as we go our way.
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe.

La luce che tu dai
Nel cuore restera
A ricordarci che
L'eterna stella sei.

I pray we'll find your light,
And hold within our hearts
And stars go out each night,
Ai,ai....................

Nella mia preghiera
Quanta fede c'e.
Lead us to a place ?

Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe.

Sogniamo un mondo senza piu violenza,
Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza.
Ognuno dia una mano al suo vicino,
Simbolo di pace...di fraternita.

La forza che ci dai
E desiderio te
Ognuno trovi amor
Intorno e dentro se.
Let this be our prayer,
Just like every child.

We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above.
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love.
Let this be our prayer,
Just like every child.

Needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
E la fede che hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salverai...

Quote Collection.

I just love quotes. And I save quite alot of webpages with those quote in them.

I see quotes as inspirations.

Words of wise men.

And love those especially those with philosophical values in them.

So i'm just thinking of compiling them all here.

So here are some quote which I fancy.

"Every edit is a lie."

-- Jean-Luc Goddard

"Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world."

-- Jean-Luc Goddard

"Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions."

-- Albert Einstein

"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

-- Gandhiji

"Don't compromise yourself. It's all you've got."
-- Janis Joplin

"Perhaps all music, even the newest, is not so much something discovered as something that re-emerges from where it lay buried in the memory, inaudible as a melody cut in a disc of flesh. A composer lets me hear a song that has always been shut up silent within me."
-- Jean Genet

"No good opera plot can be sensible:... people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."
-- W. H. Auden

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say, or how to ask for what we really need."

-- Unknown

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

-- Frank Outlaw

"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
-- John Maxwell

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you."

-- Erich Fromm

An answer needing no words.

What more can be said?

The only language every language will understand.

"dot dot dot" = "...."

In other words, silence.

Silence is the only thing I can do now that could only seem right to me.

No words to hurt anyone or me.

No gestures to indicate anything else to lead you on or put you down.

Just plain nothing.

Silence.

But yes, I'm aware I'm only running away from the matter.

And I don't usually run from them.

But for now, it seems like the best solution for me.

This is what I'll do now.

"Don't tell God how big the problem is.

Tell the problem how big is your God."

Here's a song for yal.

Hush Hush. (:

Stuck in confusion.

So much misunderstandings.

You didn't get what I meant.

I didn't get what you meant.

Should I fix this?

Or perhaps it's better this way.

[Dilemma] #heartbroken#

I thought I knew what you want.

I thought I could fulfill that want.

But all along, I've been filling that empty tank with the wrong things.

It's so insane and foolish.

Thing should never be assumed.

Don't ask me read between the lines. You know I won't.

You always say you were not understood.

Have you ever taken a chance, a single second to understand this mind, right here.

Irony all over.

You're just as similar as I am.

Words with hidden meanings.

But we both know that neither I or you will state the obvious.

Both shant spell it out for you.

So how am I to know which or what you mean?

Dilemma is what it is.

A decision I never want to make.

It's not as easy as it seems.

Torn in between both worlds.

Am I too greedy to want it all?

I guess I am.

What is news?

So, What is News?

Answer : Noun,

News, as in a newspaper or television report, that deals with formal or serious topics and events.

Basically it's,

-Information about recent & important events

-Having sufficiently interesting quality to be reported

-Found in newspaper, TV, radio, and the new media; Internet.

So, you must be wonder like what the heck is this post about.

The main story happened two days ago, was reading news online, and was browsing til I came upon this one catchy headline.

"7 years on jigsaw, one piece missing."

(click the title or this link to the news)

I was wondering what the story was about.

..about Jigsaw?

or SAW; the movie.

or did a Jigsaw puzzle kill someone, or an accomplishment done?

or something farfetched.

It seriously WAS about a missing piece.

..it's like the classic "my dog ate my homework" story.

well, it'll be no fun it I told the whole story here. Do feel free to read the article.

My favourite part of it is, as quoted,

"The family fear the missing piece has been thrown away by mistake or eaten by one of Harris's pet dogs."

So, the whole point of THIS post is actually this.

I wanted to know the relevance of the news with what NEWS is about.

First point, Recent / Important? --- It is recent cos it's reported on 20th May 2010. Importance of it...hmmm...?

Second point, Interesting values? --- I guess, somewhat interesting.

Third point, found IN the Internet.

So, in conclusion, it IS somewhat news?

But I though news or the media was some sort of way to pass a message or to inform the people about happening, significant event which could/may/will/ already DO involve them.

--like murder cases, robbery, inform them to be aware, to be more careful, etc.

--or elections, voting, for democracy, etc.

--food or anything interesting; that's more news worthy.

--Happenings in the country/world.

...so I'm just questioning the relevance of the topic and News.

Laughs. It could be just me wanting to know.

Giggles.

Cheers.

Photography.

You know how I love photography so much, that it's practically like my daily bread, aside from music. And one of my ways of relaxing is to just browse through photographs, pictures taken by others. Just basking in the moment, soaking up the scenery or memory of that time. It's one of my medication when I'm all stressed out. So there I was with nothing to do, and I was picture-surfing, and came across this gallery of wedding photos which I would just like to share.

-by Melissa Prosser-

24th April 2010

Rachel & Kevin's wedding.

Isn't the capture of this just awesome?

Love this the most! How the petals of flowers fall, so nicely done!

Just simply love her perspective of things.

To be able to capture them with such a momentous feeling.

For more information, if interested to see more of her work and if interested in getting such a sightful photographer for your wedding day, birthday, or just events, then can see more about Melissa Prosser here.

It's Valentine's day all over again.

Today is the day some people find most interesting.

All the love, hugs, and kisses flying about.

It's the 20th of May.

which is 520; in Chinese if read fast kinda sounds like 我爱你.

我爱你 (wo ai ni) : I love you. ❤

And it's like Valentine's day all over again.

It's a day of love, if I may say so.

Smiles.

Although, to me, it's just like any other day.

But I found something really happy, and made my heart skipped a beat when I read it.

I found out from my dearest darling's blog.

..and apparently, she and him has made their relationship OFFICIAL.

Laughs.

So here they are.

My darling & her beau ❤

Don't they just make the sweetest most adorable couple.

Love them both to the MAX.

We've guessed for quite awhile that they were together but they didn't say anything about it, so we just stayed guessing and assuming that they were. And now that they are, OPEN UP THE CHAMPAIGN, this calls for a celebration! Teehee! (:

And though my post is a wee-bit late as it has passed midnight,

but still I wish and hopefully spread all my love to who-so-ever is reading (:

May you be blessed as well.

Just the same as I have to know that others are so happy in love.

And hope all my couple friends will always be happy, and those who are single,

Hey, you always got me. Laughs.

Love God.

Love Family.

Love Friends.

Love you all.

So, Cheers!

And happy 20th May to you all over again. ❤

Painting Flowers.

Absolutely love this song!

Strange maze, what is this place?

I hear voices over my shoulder,

Nothing's making sense at all.

Wonder why do we race?

And everyday we're running in circles,

Such a funny way to fall.

Tried to open up my eyes,

I'm hoping for a chance to make it alright.

When I wake up, the dream isn't done.

I wanna see your face,

and know I made it home.

If nothing is true,

What more can I do?

I am still painting flowers for you.

Showed my cards, gave you my heart,

Wish we could start all over.

Nothing's makin' sense at all.

Tried to open up my eyes,

I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright.

When I wake up, the dream isn't done.

I wanna see your face,

and know I made it home.

If nothing is true,

What more can I do?

I am still painting flowers for you,

I am still painting flowers for you.

I heard everything you said,

I don't wanna lose my head,

When I wake up,

the dream isn't done.

I wanna see your face,

and know I made it home.

If nothing is true,

What more can I do?

I am still painting flowers for you,

I am still painting flowers for you.

Just today.

Went for a movie.

Epic laughters.

It was a hilarious movie of my pick which made you laugh.

Which made me laugh.

Smiles contently.

...Mais pourquoi?

Pourquoi at-il d'être comme ça?

...But why?

Why does it have to be like this?

Then it ended with sadness and just pure sorrow.

Not from the movie.

The feeling of remorse.

Its saddening to know that I've caused someone their happiness.

...and that strips me from mine.

You made me cry.

"Someone shallow will believe in luck, but a wise person sees it as cause and effect"

A quote from the movie.

And i believe what goes around come around.

I guess my actions is what caused me how I feel now.

It's sad.

Blue to the core.

I'm shutting myself in now.

I don't want to be that one who causes this pain to myself by causing them to others.

Time, is all I ask for.

Broken - Secondhand Serenade plays in my mind now.

Someone, whose words means the world to me said, "..it's called being asservative"

"..and having your own opinion"

"..you just need to be arrogant once awhile. It helps"

Me saying, "...arrogant is a good thing?"

Someone then said, "..at times. it makes you more confident in yourself."

"..our actions is what set things in motion, and we'll have to live with that."

My face is all flush.

Eyes are all watery.

All I need now is sleep. To flush my mind out of all the things inside.

Not being there.

I miss my babes. and my one and only bitch.

My Dear and Darling. They both rock my world. Sadly they are now

186.411358 Miles away from me.

I hope they're having fun, though without me.

I kinda 'ffk-ed' them. FFK; 'fong fei kei', which in Cantonese literally translated means 'to put aeroplane', which means that to make a promise then to break it.

I honestly miss them. Keep reminiscing about the times we had, during our last semester break where we were at my hometown partying. And celebrated my Dear and my own's birthday there. They are so awesome. I miss the times we had. I really wish i was there with them now.

..but sadly, I couldn't go.

Cash is tight. And thus my boredom. My anguish. So pretermit.

I honestly anticipate the pictures and lomos that they will show me.

Deep down inside, I wanna be apart of those pictures.

I miss them. Wonder what they're playing.

Wonder what awesome food they're partaking.

What stuff they're critiquing. Stuff they're buying. Things they're admiring.

Wondering whether I crossed their minds. Chuckles.

I do miss them.

I miss you guys.

Can't wait to see you guys soon.

The 7 of you.

Rex&Min♥ Yee♥ Papa♥ Jye♥ Okzai♥ (and our new addition) KS♥

Fine line.

Don't you just hate AND LOVE it when some people don't have a mind of their own?

Everything is a blind follow.

No critical thinking.

And just follow what ever people just say.

I had a lecturer once said on the question asked about 'dumb questions people give'.

He answered that, if they are stupid, the people that pursue them to insist to ask more to get more answer or to stay on it are stupid.

I guess it kinda takes one to NOT KNOW one.

Not to know how silly the question is and to join in the arguement, right?

But there is no right or wrong.

And these are just my thoughts of stuff I'm thinking.

People have no say to what's right and wrong, but there's a fine line to them, right?

Everything has a fine line to it too.

Insanity and sanity.

Something so genius and something just MAD.

Laughs.

This world can't get anymore awesome than this.

To have debates about this. I love debates. Especially when there's a productive arguementative outcome to it. It kills boredom and puts human brains to good use, THAT's for sure.

Giggles.

More than simple.

I said 'Yes' when my heart said 'No'.

You want to see into my soul then screw and screw and screw til it's the end,

Then be done with me.

Everything is complex.

It always is.

Everything is screwing up.

I'm just not her.

We all are a little scared.

But is this fear talking?

..or is it me?

No one knows. Not even me.

It's just something more than simplicity.

Unreal, is what I want.

I lost control today. Everything I kept buried inside rushed to the surface. I just can't resist you. Things are so unreal. But what I feel when I'm with you is nothing BUT real.

Memories are too important, and if I don't write it down, I'd forget it. The playtime we had. The parties we had with drinks and movies, and the most I love was the chats we had. Our playtime is what I'd remember it by.

I left memories of you unwritten. Is it just me not having time? or do I unconsciously want to forget you? But you keep running through my mind somehow, never disappearing just reappearing especially when I really did needed you. Words just come to me when it's about you.

I don't want to forget.

It is what I want.

You are what I want.

But you're something I cannot possess.

Things are just so unreal.

You're so unreal.

I'm so unreal.

We both are.

Today will be different,it has to be.

I have a smile, and it will be believable.

My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you."

I gotta be someone new.

That's the only way I can make it through.

I have a plan to change who I was, create someone new.

Without a past. Someone just so alive.

But you can't escape them as much as you want to.

Just gonna make myself ready. For the good. I need it.

People say "I'm fine." But do you really every mean it?

I know the risks.

And what is life if you don't take risk.

It's scary. It's creepy. You know it's a fear.

But sometimes, doesn't being scared let you know you're on to something important?

Doesn't everyone deserve a choice to pursue what they want?

Doesn't everyone deserve a chance for love?

Doesn't everyone deserve to be given a chance? at least.

For the first time in a long time I feel good.

Should I go for it?

Honestly, I want to.

Secretly, I really do.

❤

Peanuts over you.

I miss you when you're not here with me. To be beside me. Eventhough no words are said, it's your presence that makes me feel just so content, so blissed, so happy. Now that you're gone, there's nothing to be felt other than dampness on my cheeks as the tears flow by them. Each song sang by him reminds me of you. Each song sang by her reminds me of you. You have become the soundtrack of my season. Never fading. I came to love the song "They all laughed" by Chet Baker.

'....They laughed at Wilber and his brother when they said that man could fly,...They laughed at me wanting you, said i was reaching for the moon, but all you came through now they'll have to change their tune. they all said we'll never could be happy, they laughed at us and how, but all who's got the last laugh now.'

I do wish that you'll come through, and me wanting you won't be laughed at now. I'm so peanuts over you. Just going bananas for you. But this will be something you'll never read about. So pour me some whiskey and let me retard away! No one can see me. Just invincible.