Pretendency.

My new word. 'Pretendency'

It's Pretend + Tendency. To express of the tendency to pretend.

Every time you're not here.

Every time my mind's clear.

You have this way of creeping back into it.

Stubborn in my nature.

Yet you still push despite it.

But now it has become so repulsive.

Not even You could stand being close.

It's all numb. With no feelings.

But yet as similar as you, these tears come to haunt me.

I say I don't

I say I won't

But do you really know what I mean or do?

Words are deceiving.

Just as the mask that's living.

Lies.

An act one puts to deceive.

You know not of it.

But I do.

And honestly, it hurts to know the truth that you don't.

I'm watching those footsteps of yours. You're leaving.

Am I to stop you?

Am I to hold on tight?

Am I to just stare? and let this go?

Even my eyes are telling a lie.

You think you know me.

I think I do too.

Looking in the mirror, it tells a different story from what I know inside.

Its all a mask, a play that the main character is me.

Now all that's left, is what I pretend to be.

..so I guess you'll never get to see the real me.

..and never the tears I cry.