Mission on the go.

Time: 2104hours.

Mission: Prep for reckoning.

Meeting time: 2200hours.

Departure: 2215hours approx.

Until then and later.

Cheers! (:

And have a happy birthday to YOU!

-Out.

Viral visit [V2].

Woke up in agonizing pain again.

The past week was filled with virus. Not computer viruses, but more of the ones that make people sick. And guess what, mine does not just stop at that one virus. It calls for a sleepover and invites it's friends.

Day 1.

It comes shopping, roaming and overnighting at my place.

Before showing itself, it menaces around a little.

Being a little cold, talking bad about me [being the myth of sneezing].

For dinner, eating lots of spicy stuff and making my throat hurts.

Then lastly at night it uncovers itself being Ms. FEVER.

Day2.

Ding Dong.

Looky who it is. It's food poisoning.

They had a makeover. Putting on and washing off makeup.

Doing each other's nails.

Then when it was just plain boring.

Pillows were taken out for a PILLOW FIGHT.

Me:

Feeling the utmost discomfort from going to and fro from the loo.

Urghh. Groans.

However fever and food poisoning got bored and decided to invite colic over.

Ouchies. That's what I've been feeling the whole day now.

It's that much pain until I couldn't even get up for a decent walk. Gosh.

Pain creeping front and back of my body.

Bones being injected with wind. Uhhhh.

Thank God mom got me some meds. But she didn't get the one I wanted though.

Then my car had to be so coincidently be sent for repairs.

But thank God again for ANGELS around.

One in particular to thank for coming to kidnap me to the pharmacy to get me the drug I needed.

And two other angels who were so sweet to come visit, one being my lifesize teddy. Laughs.

[Yeah, it's some inside joke :b]

So well, getting visited by SO many people and non-people [virus] ain't too bad.

But prays that no more non Homosapiens' visit please and thankyous.

TeeHee!

Cheers!

Wishing good health to all (:

Sad lane.

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry. And just because she comes off strong, doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

It's funny how a person can break your heart, and you can still love them with all the little pieces

Tears are words the heart can't express.

You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Concern should drive us into action, not depression.

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.

All that we see or seem, Is but a dream within a dream. -Edgar Allan Poe

"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be." -Fannie Brice

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Depression is inertia.

Tears are sometimes an inapproriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile." -Julie Burchill

You can lose a man like that by your own death, but not by his. -George Bernard Shaw

Death is not the greatest loss in life. -Norman Cousins

Dead to you.

Why do you have to be so cold. It's freezing in here as it is.

Why do you have to add more coldness to it?

I knew not of your situation until I looked at the screen.

Maybe it's my fault for not being more aware of my surroundings.

I did not see what was sent.

I saw not of what was meant.

To know that you were in need of me,

yet I could not be there.

This thought just eats me up inside.

If only I saw.

If only I played more with my cell.

If only I had a louder more attractive tone for it.

If only.....

And now, just a very recent one.

If only I could be more secretive.

If only I shared less with you.

If only you had seen less.

If only you knew.

If only you knew the pain I was in when finding you.

If only you knew the distance I went.

If only you knew the times we wept.

If only you knew....

You guys said time.

but....now.....

Sigh. -pause-

Don't I even get a say in all this?

What? That was our last goodbye?

That was the goodbye hug?

...No goodbye kiss then?

Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

You want to go your own way.

You told me to go mine.

What if we were going in the same direction all this while?

What if we were both fooled?

I lied.

Did I ever? Really?

I feel like screaming now.

Screaming.. so insanity would overtake this mind.

So that I would think less of what's right.

Of what should be.

I'll just be in my own world.

Playing my own games.

Abiding by my own rules.

Winning all that's just mine.

Ha Ha Ha.

What fun that will be.

Ha Ha Ha.

To think that after it all, I'll be alright.

Things will be just fine.

You and I will be okay this time.

Ha Ha Ha.

I guess I was wrong.

It only happened in my mind.

Never. Not this time.

-Fullstop-

I guess it ends here.

You pulled the trigger.

Shot me right in the head.

Between the eyes.

I guess you've been wanting to do that a long time.

Bang.

That's my heart yo.

Yeah it is.

It's bleeding.

Bang.

I'm dead.

That's right.

Dead as anyone can be.

Beyond your mind.

Not ever in mine.

Just dead to time.

Now I'm dead to the world.

Just as dead to me.

Sorries.

Sometimes, if you dislike something,

there is a thing called words,

which are meant for us to voice things out.

I knew not of how you felt.

I wish I did.

I wouldn't have wanted to put you in that position.

Thousand apologies I shall say to you.

But I guess what you stated made some sense.

Still, I'm sorry 亲爱的.

RE: You're Beautiful.

RE:

This is a reply to one of my post by a guy.

Well, it's a verbal one so all I can do is try my best to transcribe it.

But mainly, the gist of it is...

'Small Things'

So he was saying that the writer or author of the source of 'The reasons to Why a Boy likes a Girl' could be most probably a guy writing. Maybe it could be from own experience to why he likes the girl he does.

So it doesn't speak of the inner beauty as I wrote in my post. But more on the small things because he says that, it's the small things girls do that makes boys fall for them- of cos aside from being the person who HE would feel comfortable, warm and just adoring their company.

Me: Agreeing to what he said.

I guess it's kind of true too because it's all the small things that kind of capture your heart.

Being there.

Being sweet with little adoring thoughts.

Being there when you're not feeling too good to make you all better.

Simple to say, just putting a smile on your face.

Making the frown go away.

Being the only exception. (:

♡

Forward, march!

Well I guess today would be a quite bummed out day for some of us.

I was a little bummed out.

But small matters shouldn't be big enough to affect your life, right?

After all, it wasn't that bad. Still above average. (:

Considering that average is like 50% whereas we still get above 50% of the whole thing.

All that's left is to strive harder towards the bigger picture.

Let's endeavour this together!

Don't let the fear of striking out

keep you from playing the game.

You're Beautiful.

Why Boys like Girls.

HERE ARE THE REASONS ..ENJOY =)
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8.Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think

she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore'
even though you know that an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17.The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say 'I miss you'
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to
change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....

Yet regardless if you love them,
hate them, wish they would die or
know that you would die without them ...

it matters not. Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to the depths of their souls
and you say a million things without trace of
a sound, you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed within
the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

Well, I came across some old email junkies I had. And sort of stumbled on this.

*Ponders*

I wonder whether these are your reasons.

I wonder whether every other guys are like this.

I wonder what else could be missing.

It shouldn't just be about these, or could it?

But for what it's worth, I think they left out personality.

All that's mentioned was about more of human attraction, physical stuff.

I think it's important to see a person's inner beauty as well.

Girls and Boys,

it's never only about outer beauty but what's inside.

You can live with beautiful things.

But no worldly thing will last.

Not even looks.

Photos capture your essence,

But pictures can fade.

What's always there is what's inside.

Never let anything take their toll on what's beautiful on the inside.

So here's a song I love listening to everytime I feel down..

Spoken:

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful

And suddenly, i saw debris

Now and then, I get insecure

From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring me down

So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious

So consumed in all your doom

Trying hard to fill the emptiness

The piece is gone left the puzzle undone

That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring you down

You are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring you down

Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do

(no matter what we do)

No matter what they say

(no matter what they say)

When the sun is shining through

Then the clouds won't stay

And everywhere we go

(everywhere we go)

The sun won't always shine

(sun won't always shine)

But tomorrow will find a way

All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say

Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring us down

Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today

Final Touchdown.

Finally, we've past the final countdown!

At last, it's complete.

All the assignment reports, presentations!

Now got to focus on the upcoming finals!

加油！加油！

Jiayou! Jiayou!

みなさん! これからもがんばってください。

Mina san! korekaremo ganbatte kudasai.

Faites de votre mieux!

All the best in finals everyone!

Cheers!

Did I ever tell you.

Did I ever tell you I’m better to have known you?
I don’t want to leave you with the shadow of a doubt
Did I ever give you the strength you’ve given me?
And how can I begin to make each moment mean the most so you will see
I never loved you more than I do today
Sometimes life just seems to get in the way

It’s been too long
I want to sit down and write for you a perfect love song
I want to shout it out in a silent crowd
I want to move you in a million ways
I said to you everyday but did I ever tell you I love you that way

And did I ever tell you I’m better to have known you
I don’t want to change you cause I proud of who you are
And should you ever question the pain we are going through
What I need to mention is that life just isn’t living without you
You know that I want you more than anything
Sometimes I just forget to say what I mean

It’s been too long
I want to sit down and write for you a perfect love song
I want to shout it out in a silent crowd
I want to move you in a million ways
I said to you everyday but did I ever tell you I love you that way

I never loved you more than I do today
Sometimes its crazy life just gets in the way

It’s been too long
I want to sit down and write for you a perfect love song
I want to shout it out in a silent crowd
I want to move you in a million ways
I said to you everyday but did I ever tell you I love you that way

It’s been too long
I want to sit down and write for you a perfect love song
I want to shout it out in a silent crowd
I want to move you in a million ways
I said to you everyday but did I ever tell you I love you
Did I ever tell you I love you that way?

恕

The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

-Mahatma Gandhi

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

-Colossians 3:13

Beware of the man who does not return your blow:
he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.

-George Bernard Shaw


To err is human; to forgive, divine.

-Alexander Pope



And if your friend does evil to you, say to him,
"I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?"

-Friedrich Nietzsche



If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,
soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.

-Mahatma Gandhi


"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was YOU."

Water under the bridge.

At last, could it be?
The decision made was never my biding?

All she ever did was sob. She was thinking about him and him again. He asked what is to be made as the final sentence? She couldn't reply. For she know not of what to reply. She honestly have no idea what is going on in her mind.

Momo was her name. Emo was her game.

He shut her out. With all given signals that he would. I saw it coming. She predicted it. He was so much similiar to her that it's scary. I saw them all. It is a sad three-sided polygon. It's never easy for anyone.

It's deplorable. Honestly.
Everything's gone wrong. So very wrong.
I believe not in this. Neither does she in superstitious beliefs.
At times like this, it's just uncool be so doubtful.

You know what.
She didn't have to make any decisions.
One of the he made it for her.
She wants to undo things.
She wants to say what's not said.
She wants to do so much to fix it.
But some part of her told me, "Maybe it's best this way."

He'll forget her.
He'll erase all memories of her.
She will put hers in the stack of memories she has.
Locks the door of her heart once again.
For until it is healed again.

So much unfinished business.
So much needed to be fixed.
Yet the more fixing done,
the worst it becomes.

Now she's numbing herself.
Her heart feels almost nothing now.
I see coldness in her.
Yet if you look deep enough,
you'll see it in her eyes that there's tears inside.
Crystallized to perfection.

You made her decision for her.
You made my decision for me too.
Could it be that this is meant to be?

Nothing more I can say to change your mind?
Nothing else that can be done?

Momo she is.
She tore her heart out.
Leaving just trails of blood.
..with some written words.

Sigh. Momo darling.
You're a ruthful one.

R.I.P my dear one.

Cold.

I tried so hard not to cry.
I honestly did.
I managed. I did!
I managed to hold my tears back in your midst.

She saw me being emotionless.
She asked me, why are you being so cold.
I replied her with shivers.
...whispered, "because I killed my heart"... and continued walking in the rain.

She chased after me. Grabbed my shirt and tugged until I came to a halt. "You liar!" she said. You can't be alive if your heart's dead. Then I held her hand. Shook it off my shirt.
"Your touch is cold."

I wish I would never have to make that call.
Whatever said or done just kills me on the inside.
It pains me to know I've pain you.

I so wish I could cry now.
I need the release. I need to feel.
I don't want to be cold. Heartless not.
Pain. That's what I need.

Tears, won't you just fall for me?

Maybe I do not deserve them.
Tears are too good for me.
They are remedies for pain.
Maybe needed is the pain riding my heart.
Punishment for being selfish?
Greedy?

I just need your hug right now.
You put on a mask. I did too.
I saw yours through, yet doubting myself in it.
Maybe you are alright.
But who could ever be fine in moments like these.

Maybe what I'm thinking is right now.
-That you're ignoring me.
Casting me aside,
along with all the hurting I've only caused you.

You have every right to do so.
I don't think I have any right to ask more.
I secretly want to.
But that's not ever going to happen now, is it?

I was pushed aside.
Given away like a toy.
Yet I didn't say a thing.
I played along, wanted all that's best for all.

She said:
"But you can never make everyone happy.
So choose yourself. Cos you're all you've got."

Is it right?
What if I don't even know what I want?
How could I possibly fix what I know nothing of?

Lids to close, as tears finally fell.

Materialistic me 1#

Materialistic me!

Well, this is a first. For sure!

Listing out my wishlists. Laughs~

Well, just partially.

P/s: Not hinting to anyone about anything.

Just my own sweet admiration of things I adore.

My other wishlist item!

This, somehow have been longing for years now.

Laughs. But never stumbled on any shops that made personalised necklaces.

Eeks!

Oh, and how I love tinted titanium-like accessories.

Like the world "WeddingGirl" (top) and the heartshape in the (bottom) picture.

Other new thingies I added to my wishlist.

This pair of gorgeousdelic shoes!

More of half-boots , or whatever name it is called, which I fancy lots!

And lastly (for this post), is the Black Sclera.

Just so epic that it made me want them so bad. Laughs!

So here they are.

But I guess it's hard to find it in Malaysia.

It's 300USD, and I guess has to be custom made to fit.

Just some random wishlisted item anyways. (:

Teehee!

It's never enough.

I love to see you smile.
I love the glow and warmth it brings.
I love how awesome it makes me feel.
Knowing your smile, my heart it steals.

But I hate how I made that gorgeous curve go away.
Hate so much how my 'n'-shaped lips influenced it.
Kills me most to see your upsidedown smile.
I hate it much that I could die.

Time, Time is all I ask for.

I do have time.

Just as much, not too little or not too much.

Just that much.

I wish there were two of me.

To have more time.

One for them and one for you.

Perhaps then I can make the frown turn upside down,

and see you smile again.

Then maybe I can smile again.

Sighs.

Tainted love.

有个人、爱过了、就结束了
有句话、说过了、就后悔了
有道伤、痛过了、就麻木了
有颗心、颤过了、就破碎了

...一段亲情、过密了、就断绝了
一段友情、过近了、就稀释了
一段爱情、过深了、就剧终了
一段路口、过难了、就错选了

有些东西、时间放久了、就会变质的
有些事物、发展很久了、也会变质的
有些感情、时间和距离、是会贬值的
有些伤痛、酝酿得越久、发作得越厉害

有时候、想说出那三个字、却没勇气
有时候、想说出另三个字、却狠不下心
有时候、想刻意记得、却总是忘记
有时候、想可以忘记、却总是败笔

唯一一个人、想爱、可不能
唯一一个人、想恨、不可能
唯一一个人、想留、却无能
唯一一个人、想放、却不能

恋着一个人、天使从不曾离开
想着一个人、眼睛从开始睁开
望着一个人、目光在哪里停留
梦见一个人、微笑何时在嘴边…

Cried from this.
Gotten this from someone.
Just meant so much.
Made me tear so much.

A game to play.

The heart is like a game.
You can get as many lives as you want from it.
You just have a pay a price for a new one; tears, hardship, pain.
Sometimes it's worth so much though the price is high.
But sometimes all you want to do is die.
Too bad you can't.
Cos it's a game.
Unless you pull the plug.
Then you'll be playing God.
And that's a whole other game. One that is ETERNAL.
You can never pull the plug from that one.

Choose your character wisely.
Guard it. Heart it.
Blunder it if you want.
It's yours to control.

But for what it's worth.
You've only got yourself in this world of fantasy.
To vote for you?
or..vote for... you?
It's all you.
Make your choice.

Raining from the inside.

The wind blew,
The trees went wuuushhhh,
Rain kept flicking it from the window.

The window so similiar to my own.
A broken one.
Cannot be closed,
Yet cannot be fully opened.

YOU are the one.
That stopper, that road block, that thing of a creation,
that was put there to prevent it from closing.

But it is also YOU.
Who is opening that window.
Gushing by,
Pushing through.

Sighs.
My heart is breaking.
Like a glass that's being poked from all angles by needles.
Sharp, blunt, long, short, thin and fat needles.
They pierce through it like as though it was meant to be.

People will say what they want to.
People will do what they want to.
People can practically just do anything to you.

But what will you do?

Can you look at things the brighter side?
Would you see the glass half full rather than half empty?
Would you do what's right even if it hurts inside?

Or would you just die from the inside to everything worldly?

To get something you never had,
you have to do something you never did.