Unreal, is what I want.

I lost control today. Everything I kept buried inside rushed to the surface. I just can't resist you. Things are so unreal. But what I feel when I'm with you is nothing BUT real.

Memories are too important, and if I don't write it down, I'd forget it. The playtime we had. The parties we had with drinks and movies, and the most I love was the chats we had. Our playtime is what I'd remember it by.

I left memories of you unwritten. Is it just me not having time? or do I unconsciously want to forget you? But you keep running through my mind somehow, never disappearing just reappearing especially when I really did needed you. Words just come to me when it's about you.

I don't want to forget.

It is what I want.

You are what I want.

But you're something I cannot possess.

Things are just so unreal.

You're so unreal.

I'm so unreal.

We both are.

Today will be different,it has to be.

I have a smile, and it will be believable.

My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you."

I gotta be someone new.

That's the only way I can make it through.

I have a plan to change who I was, create someone new.

Without a past. Someone just so alive.

But you can't escape them as much as you want to.

Just gonna make myself ready. For the good. I need it.

People say "I'm fine." But do you really every mean it?

I know the risks.

And what is life if you don't take risk.

It's scary. It's creepy. You know it's a fear.

But sometimes, doesn't being scared let you know you're on to something important?

Doesn't everyone deserve a choice to pursue what they want?

Doesn't everyone deserve a chance for love?

Doesn't everyone deserve to be given a chance? at least.

For the first time in a long time I feel good.

Should I go for it?

Honestly, I want to.

Secretly, I really do.

❤