Outside Of You.

I can't get your attention
And I'm so sick of it
I've got something to say to you
So shut up and listen
I don't want you to look past me
I want you to know who I am
I hate it when you ignore me
You just don't understand
See the funny thing is
You're just as useless as me
I can make you better
If you would just let me in

I'm outside of you
And I can't get through
Overlooking the beauty that's dying inside me
Cant you see?
I'm outside of you
And I'm so confused
You keep missing the small things
The safety that love brings
Can't you see?

I'm outside of you

For anything to survive
It needs love and light to grow
I could be something beautiful
I guess you'll never know
See the funny thing is
You're just as lonely as me
We could be so much better
If you would just let me in

And as you walk by me
I'm silently screaming to set me free
I look in the mirror
And I see your future
You look good with me
And as you walk by me
I'm silently screaming to set me free
I look in the mirror
And I see your future
You look good with me

Mares of the Night.

Trying to make sense of this life
Ideas swirling in my head
Im more creative when I try not to be
So I listen to myself instead

Ive given it some thought
So glad the past is gone
Seems like my moments come
And I like that a lot
Dont rain on my parade
See Im here to stay
The life Ive led so far
Ive done a damn good job

Dont tell me what I can and cannot do
Not while the night is young
My life is free and not owned by you
Not while the night is young
Dont waste my time to be what people adore
Not while the night is young
Say what you will I dont care anymore
Not while the night is young

I know I know
Im all out of order
Forgive if I speak my mind
Ive had it to here with boring conversation
Soon time will pass me by

Ive given it some thought
So glad the past is gone
Seems like my moments come
And I like that a lot
Dont rain on my parade
See Im here to stay
The life Ive led so far
Ive done a damn good job

Dont tell me what I can and cannot do
Not while the night is young
My life is free and not owned by you
Not while the night is young
Dont waste my time to be what people adore
Not while the night is young
Say what you will I dont care anymore
Not while the night is young

Im so tired of trying to be what you want
Knowing I will never succeed
Going forward
Ill be just fine
If you let me be who I want to be
The first thing I think when I hear your words
Is dont listen cause you only live once
Im on a roll
Fate dont stop me now
Not while the night is young

The night is young
The night is young
Ohhhhhhhh

Dont tell me what I can and cannot do
Not while the night is young
My life is free and not owned by you
Not while the night is young
Dont waste my time to be what people adore
Not while the night is young
Say what you will I dont care anymore
Not while the night is young

Pretty in tears.

Little by little breaking away. 
That's all these tears will say.

The path of atomic number 11.

Words so harsh came out.
Putting you in pain.
Words so precipitous.
Leaving those lips, each with blades sharper than the other.

I had to.
I didn't want to.
Emotions just comes,
and they had to go.
Coming out in all the wrong way possible.

I had to.
I had to leave.
I had to get you out of there.
I couldn't anymore.
I couldn't hold it in any longer.
It was killing inside.
Tears brought me back home.
Forging me this pathway.
At least one that I won't put you through to see.

I hate it.
I hate to see you leave.
I hate to see you walk away.
I hate that you had to because of me.
My words so mean.

This heart has dug it's grave.
Apparently the dead walks.
And no, it's not leaving me alone.
Ghosting this soul.

I miss her.
I miss how she needed me.
The way she comes bearing cuddles all the time.
The one that needed me more than I did her.
But not knowingly, I needed her more.

I'm sorry for everything.
Sorry I put you through hardship.
Constantly questioning you.
For answers which I make myself die with.

Story with pictures.

The Royal Wedding.

 

And she became the princess to a nation but the queen of his heart.

 His Royal Highness Prince William The Duke of Cambridge 
and Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge.

In loving memory of Princess Diana.

Call to you.

I know not of the reasons for these tears.

Were they from fear or...

Just purely messages my heart is screaming to tell.

I know not why they fall.

Your voice was all I need.

I could stay up all day just listening to you.

Your voice. Just brings a sense of calmness to my heart.

When all hope felt lost,

You made it all better.

Your key just brought me back to life.

Giving me strength to move on to the next moment.

Sing me to sleep.

Sing to me your sweet serenade.

Never stay silent,

If I’m still ever in your head.

For you my darling have never left me astray. 

Cinematic dream.

Am bringing popcorn to bed. Cos I'm gonna dream something with YOU in it, and it'll be AWESOME! (: ♥

Twelfth Night.

"If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die."
— William Shakespeare

Meaning:

"Music is said to be the food of love in the sense that enlivens love and rejuvenates it...; the person is utterly frustrated in love..., he feels that an excess of love might cure his passion for and obsession with love...the way if one eats too much he loses appetite for more food."

Advice to know.

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.                                                                           
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2010.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
4. The best is yet to come.
5. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Second chance in my head.

I fast forwarded time in my head.

It was bliss,
But both had no idea of what to do.
God knows I didn't.
Shy to any action.
I wish I hadn't.
It feels like I'm given a second chance to make it right.
Until that day.
Let's make it right the second time again.
Living it again.
Happiest.

Blurry thoughts.

Eyes unable to open.
Vision blurring.
Head throbbing.
Heart spinning.
It's been a long day.
And guess what. It's already Day 13!

If there's a question to ask today or ever,
"Can you please clarify this heart to me?"

If there's a universal sentence/ saying I gave today,
"Emo lu...... Committing suicide lu...."

If there's anything I gotta do is...
To draw another emo graph! (=

So here's to a short, rather aimless or purposeful post.
Cheers you guys!
And good luck to all those sitting for their papers tomorrow.
All the best!

________With smiles and love all the way from my room to you!♥

Transition.

Well this post was pending since God knows when.
Entitled "Transition" for a reason.

I had a dream of friends.
Or are you all still?
I guess I missed you guys all way lot hence the dream.

There's so much going in my mind.
How much I disagree with your ways.
How I could agree that you are the meanest peppy group ever.
From a far, people would see you as tame cute soft toys.
But like what my mom says is true.
"You won't truely know somebody until you live with them."

Though I'm not the one living with you.
But I can see your true colours as they are.

Am I that foul to deserve all that?
If there's something you disagree on, then let's hear it.
Please don't go behind our backs and rip the entire spine out.

Transition.
That's what we are all going through.
You and I. Somehow it seems like we are becoming Hi-Bye.
Never a time to sit and have a talk.
Not even for drinks.
We are the outer circle now.
Not even the moon to the Earth.
Somehow further away, deserted.

But not everyone that's there is like that.
You. The one of more altitude.
I've always been grateful and admired your kind heart.
Thank you alot.
If there was a room of honour, You'll definitely be in it.
But I can't hang you here or else things would be so and too vivid for others.
So I shall just leave it as it is. Just here.

Please don't transit.
That's what my heart yells if you're not hearing.
However there's a part of me which thinks that there's little hope.
For reasons we all know.
Three full moons or four, faces won't be met.
And somehow that's the reason that kills what every hope I'm grasping on.
Time will tell.
But please don't leave.

Voice of you.

Good morning day 14.
Though listening to your voice was only a minute and at times less.
A few sentences.
But hearing you makes my day right.
You're the french drug to that schizophrenic heart and mind of mine.
And the song that had to come up was half life.

I'm awake in the afternoon

I fell asleep in the living room

and it's one of those moments

when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding

I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding

to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend

tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight

to leave behind this half-life

don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right

this is just a half-life

is there really no escape?

no escape from time

of any kind

I keep trying to understand

this thing and that thing, my fellow man

I guess I'll let you know

when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries

they can stay that way it's fine by me

and you are another mystery i am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight

to leave behind this half-life

don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right

this is just a half-life

is there really no escape?

no escape from time

of any kind

come on lets fall in love

come on lets fall in love

come on lets fall in love

again

'cause lately something here don't feel right

this is just a half-life,

without you I am breaking down

wake me, let me see the daylight

save me from this half-life

let's you and I escape

escape from time

come on lets fall in love

come on lets fall in love

come on lets fall in love

again 

Hopefully Day 14 will be a great day.
I know it will. It just has to be!
Cheers to you all reading and a very Good Morning to all of you from here to wherever you may be.
Smiles. (:

Adamant 敏。

Rock so hard, put to just the right amount of pressure, 

and that's what you get.

Grateful in all aspect,

Even people from her world makes my world happy.

Never deniable.

That hardcore gem that will always be there for me.

The times, especially the past few days or the week where I've been nothing but a mess,

 

My happy-emo chart and its extremities. 

Yes. That's how havoc it is.

She's my helium. 

Teehee everywhere she and I go.

Glad that you're always there whenever I am in deep crappy emotional breakdowns.

Even if it's that messed up and skyrockets like mad without warning.

敏。谢谢你！

 

Cheers!

and here's a smile for a rather different genre post for Day 14. 

Singing me away.

Someone please get me by.

I know what I need to do,
But I can't get myself to do it.
These voices keeps haunting me.
They tell me things I don't want to believe.
They tell me things which I see but don't want to believe either.
Are they telling me truths?
I really can't tell.
I need help.
I know I do.
I'm going against myself now.
Wasting my time on all these that could not even be true.
It's all in my head.
Someone stop these voices.
I can't hear myself anymore.
Please. If you can hear me.

15 going on 14.

Jet lag.

Simple Plan

What time is it where you are?
I miss you more than anything
Back at home you feel so far
Waitin for the phone to ring
It's gettin lonely livin upside down
I don't even wanna be in this town
Tryin to figure out the time zones makin me crazy

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
It's drivin me mad
I miss you so bad
and my heart heart heart is so jetlagged

What time is it where you are?
5 more days and i'll be home
I keep your picture in my car
I hate the thought of you alone

I've been keepin busy all time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin to figure out the time zones makin me crazy
I miss you so bad
I wanna share your horizon
and see the same sunrising
Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me.

Closed-sure.

Knowing that you're smiling again and being much calmer brings me partial happiness. At least, you're happy again. Although I'm contemplating things again. This soul is getting weak. Vulnerable to things so simple as talking that tears will flow though I'm controlling so hard to keep my emotions intact. The face of stone but flowing rivers. This can't be it. But it is what it is and now as this soul grows feeble, for now sleep undoes the frail.

Last hour of 16.

Your last words were:

I'll always be with you no matter where I am in the world.

PS: This here sort of resembles you. Teehee! 

Bon voyage mon précieux. 

No matter where you are now, just so you know, you're always missed, 

and have never left my heart and mind. 

The memories I shall treasure always. 

Until day 1 where you and I will start with first glances as strangers again.

h&k.

Unreally Real.

I know now.

I shall grasp your words tight.

And never doubt them.

I know now.

They are real.

You are real.

Remember the reasons why this is all so real now than ever before.

Flaky times will come,

and the strength you need, I need, will come from this memory.

The memory of what it is.

Unreally real.

Creepy crawly.

The way you creep in.

Of course not saying that you have scary long nail-like-claw hand, but you get the idea.
I miss you even if you're sneak up on my mind in such spine-chilling way.

10 + 6 and counting.

Day 16 and counting til 1.
Yes, even though it has just turned day 16, but I couldn't wait to blog about it.

It's 3.13 am in the morning.
Laid rested at the court earlier this midnight, staring at the sky.
It was cloudy then. I don't know how it is like now.
But in my memories, the sky's tinted pinkish red against the blue black sky.
It was a little cloudy and I could still see stars.
No moon to talk to though.
But the stars.

They were so beautiful.
Squinting hard to catch a glimpse of every single one of them.
I saw little red lights. Aeroplanes I think.
In every single one I see and feel more of you drawn closer.
Everyone of them, you run through this occupied mind.
To the clothes,
What smell is being worn,
To what you're doing,
What suit you're in,
To what you could be thinking.
To maybe if I'm running in there.
Or whether you hear my call.

I hope. Hope so strong.
To what I want to belong.

Just so you know,
I'll wait for you.
I'll hold you like I'll never let you go.
I'll kiss you and smile for you.
I don't know when's the next,
But baby know, I'll wait for you to come back...and bring me home.

17 days.

Everyday that draws near.
I can feel this beating palm-size object getting closer to the one so far.
My goals, I'm getting close to.
Hopefully by the 16th day, I'll be my goal.
You can count on me.
I'm counting down the days.
When it's the pages of textbook I should be counting down too.
Awaiting your arrival. That's for sure.
Awaiting my new place.
I'm coming home baby.