Painting sorrows.

Only God will know how long I sat there.
Staring at the screen, with your name in that little white box,
just waiting for words to be filled.
Songs I saw,
Lyrics all read.
I wanted to reach you,
But it feels like hope,
Hope to more pain, more torment,
Something enough felt, and too sad to finally be able to say "I'm used to it."
I'm screaming inside.
If only you knew.
Just because my eyes deceive others.
My heart still feels the pain.

You say that nobody knows,
But you should know well that I'm that nobody.

Can requests be nullified?
I promised myself not to stab you anymore.
I promised myself to stop looking.
I promised myself to step on the fuel pedal to go.
The only thing I did not promise was to promise not to break those promises to myself.

The seawater shed is nothing compared to yours.
But I wish I could colour your sky again.
And be the wave to your sands and wash them all away.

Can this just be a break?
The space bar from ALT to ALT?