Peanuts over you.

I miss you when you're not here with me. To be beside me. Eventhough no words are said, it's your presence that makes me feel just so content, so blissed, so happy. Now that you're gone, there's nothing to be felt other than dampness on my cheeks as the tears flow by them. Each song sang by him reminds me of you. Each song sang by her reminds me of you. You have become the soundtrack of my season. Never fading. I came to love the song "They all laughed" by Chet Baker.

'....They laughed at Wilber and his brother when they said that man could fly,...They laughed at me wanting you, said i was reaching for the moon, but all you came through now they'll have to change their tune. they all said we'll never could be happy, they laughed at us and how, but all who's got the last laugh now.'

I do wish that you'll come through, and me wanting you won't be laughed at now. I'm so peanuts over you. Just going bananas for you. But this will be something you'll never read about. So pour me some whiskey and let me retard away! No one can see me. Just invincible.

Infect you, infect me.

You know how infectious laughs are?

Sadness and depression works the same.

And sometimes more powerful than Happiness.

I've this resolution to be happy, and make others happy.

It pays off to see that you are able to put a smile on that sad face,

a tear of happiness to replace the sorrowful one.

But I've come to learn that it's hard to stay happy, when especially I have this really pessimistic mind that loves to put thoughts in my head. It's evil.

I love to cry.

He says it's okay for me to cry cos I'm a girl.

But I hate to cry.

It puffs my eyes and dehydrates me. Making me look like a goldfish.

Pouts. :(

But, it made me happy when I made someone who wasn't sad even happier;

though the person was trying to make me happy instead.

I was on the phone with my friend.

...

Me: I'm crying

XX: Why? Don't cry. smile.

Me: I can't help it, the tears just come.

XX: Come on, don't cry, please.

Me: I can't help it cos' I drank too much water and I didn't go to the toilet, so it came out the other way.

XX: Where got like tat one. Laughing.

Me: Got ler.

XX: Remember to drink more water okay?

Me: The more I drink, I shall cry more cos the toilet discriminates me and I can't go.

XX: (Tries to control from laughing) Silly.

Well, me being silly, kinda made someone else smile.

and the feeling of making others smile made me happy despite that I was crying.

So I guess it's not that hard to be happy now, is it?

It remains a mystery to me.

Human mind, especially my own, I shall never understand.

But for now, at least this happy thought here shall have to bare through.

I am now in search of laughters.

As contagious as it is, it's just the right medicine for me.

Cheers.

Silent night

Before I did love the night

It's dark.

It's cool.

It's quiet

and yet all bright,

with stars that lite.

and so lively with people around.

Thus me loving the night.

But now, it's dark.

It's cool.

It's quiet and lite,

but the silence of having no one around has made it something much scary to like.

It feels like 'Zombieland';the movie, all over.

No one around, and when there are people, you stop and stare.

wonder who they are. being all paranoid and stuff.

Wondering what they'd do.

Is it safe in the dark?

I love to think so.

Zombieland, that's what this is.

Irony all over.

Big Fish Moment with Pizza Hut.

...stomach growling with hunger.

It's like an orchestra in there, with horns and trumpets, trombone and all.

All playing their own tune. Its a mess of hunger! Moans.

He tugged on my shirt, then said, "Are you trying to starve me?"

Laughing, I said "Yes". Smirked, and asked him where did he want to eat.

Somehow, we ended up online, browsing for stuff to eat. And came upon this ad.

..hmm... looks yummy. Tempting.

So it was decided. Its FISH for tonight I said. We couldn't wait. He couldn't wait. His stomach was even more of an orchestra than mine was.

...like a Marching band on National day. Laughs.

On the way, the "Alaskan Pollock Fish Fingers", which are those EIGHT fish fingers, constantly popped in my head and the thought of it being lemony just made my mouth watered with excitement.

Yum Yum Yum. GLEE!

We had the regular. For 2. And the service was quick! -Exactly like what our stomachs both ordered. A quickie yummy meal!

The first to arrive is the Bread sticks. NOMS.

Then there's the creamy mushroom soup. Loves it with the bread.

Fed him some.

Then our BIG FISH KING came!

FINALLY!

The pizza as a whole. Look at how yummy it is.

Doesn't it just makes you want to go get one?

Fuu... look at the CHEESE!

Its so so so AWESOME.

...and its alot, as it was more than enough for two cheese lovers! Both him and I.

Here's the pizza. Yum Yum.

"Open up." Noms!

Exclusively only at PIZZAHUT!

This is all we had. And it was definitely pleasing.

"Loved the LEMON-ness.. and how brilliantly it matches the Mayo" , he said.

Below are shots taken by him.

I like the first one just below.

He liked the second shot he took cos the pizza was in the center of the picture.

But like his fav phrase, "Nothing is right or wrong."

So both are splendidly awesome!

Look at how hungry he was. Laughs.

It looks like he ate alot of stuff. (which he kinda did) Haha.

By the way, love the lightings at Pizzahut.

An add on for taking pics! LOVES.

Love the lightings the light above us (in the below picture) that gave me for the pictures.

We left, All full and contented.

Had loads of fun with him and wish to go for more fish soon. Giggles.

Til next time, and I reckon yal to try Big Fish King Pizza!

Noms away.

Cheers. ❤

Pretendency.

My new word. 'Pretendency'

It's Pretend + Tendency. To express of the tendency to pretend.

Every time you're not here.

Every time my mind's clear.

You have this way of creeping back into it.

Stubborn in my nature.

Yet you still push despite it.

But now it has become so repulsive.

Not even You could stand being close.

It's all numb. With no feelings.

But yet as similar as you, these tears come to haunt me.

I say I don't

I say I won't

But do you really know what I mean or do?

Words are deceiving.

Just as the mask that's living.

Lies.

An act one puts to deceive.

You know not of it.

But I do.

And honestly, it hurts to know the truth that you don't.

I'm watching those footsteps of yours. You're leaving.

Am I to stop you?

Am I to hold on tight?

Am I to just stare? and let this go?

Even my eyes are telling a lie.

You think you know me.

I think I do too.

Looking in the mirror, it tells a different story from what I know inside.

Its all a mask, a play that the main character is me.

Now all that's left, is what I pretend to be.

..so I guess you'll never get to see the real me.

..and never the tears I cry.

Tick Tock away and its hip hip huuray!

As the clock ticked its way to 2... papers were flipped and questions were read. Jaws dropped open then followed by "..WHAT(s)!?!" that flew right out of everyone's mouth. It was so hilarious despite the fact that my jaw dropped just the same yet, I couldn't help myself to resist from laughing.

Brainfarts! That's what it was, all the way. That's how it was throughout the intensifying 90minutes of my life. For the next 6 minutes after that were taken to check the paper, and filling up the other particulars. I did my knot in a bow, for it looked pleasant and way nicer than the writings inside. Scribbles and scratches. Everything was everywhere! A total mess. I hope it's readable despite all that commotion inside.

I've worked over the hot stove and given it all I've got. Now staring at the clock, seeing each second repeat itself over and over again. 15 more minutes to go. I couldn't wait for the time to be up. The draggy minutes were mortifyingly hard to pass. But I managed, we all did.

Prayers and all. I do pray all my papers will score.

For the next one we wait, being the last for some, my second last it wait.

Anxiously I wait for dear old Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... For twas the day when teddy arrives, my heart shall leap with surprise. ❤

It's so totally Y.

Da da Da.

I'm lost in confusion of what I did to you.

Why is it that you're being all mean.

It's so cold that it's freezing me too.

Why has it got to be the way it is?

Life is cruel and mean.

It lunges things at you. Although some good things.

How come I'm suffocating when it's your space I'm occupying.

Things don't make sense.

One minute is all happily ever after, and what'd you know, the next, the page has been ripped apart cos the author didn't see that it fit to play that happy part.

It's all a blur.

I'm as confused as you are.

Yet I don't think I am.

But you think that it's just you when all of it happened because of me.

Funny how life tickles you in the bone.

Not the funny bone.

But other bones which names are far from funny.

Da da Da.

Confusion makes the world go round, in a dizzy fickle-minded way.

That's the substance.

Houston, we have a problem.

We're out of fuel!

These few days and well you can basically say it has been the whole week!

Its such a drag to study especially when all you're feeling is nothing other than pure impairment of a normal physical health. A wee-bit close to being brainsick.

Its like an epidemic on the lose. But not that the outbreak of attacks are on many individuals. Just One individual in particular, with many attacks from all sorts of viral infections.

ROARS.

This one particular subject I'm going to have in less than 12hours' time, is the worst.

Not only is it filled with all sorts of theories with theories in them, it's so lengthy and tedious that I'm having loads of brain freeze. System Overload-much!

But every part of a sad ending has a happy one;

greener grass on the other side? Laughs.

So there's teddy again. *aww, just squeals at how adorable teddy is*

Honestly, teddy has become my motivation to push through the fog that's messing up the channel ahead. And I'm so overwhelmed by gratitude right now.

Little chats.

Little talks.

Short nasty messages,

and believe it or not,

that's all it took to get the engines to jump-start again.

The faces that you make.

The gestures, all so warm.

Even your snore puts a smile on my face.

It's the little things in life that makes it all worth while.

*Heart melts at the thought of the snore*

Laughs.

So I guess this break has got to come to an end.

No more bloggie...

...for its back to the books it is for me.

No matter how bad things may seem,

look round the corner, you may just get a glance at that gorgeous angel,

all sweet and kind, just out there looking for ways to bring things back to mind.

Cheers! And never give up.

Just because of a few road blocks and detours, doesn't mean you have to throw yourself down a cliff. So here I leave you with a cheerful heart. I hope you will too.

Funny bone

Multi tasking again as usual.

Msn-ing and revising.

...and Str asked me whether i was holding a pen in my hand; studying.

Thus the drawing below. ^^

[Convo]

"Me: how come I only have 4 fingers? @@

Str: CARTOONS only have 4

Me: haha. ok XD

Str: don't wana break the cartoon logic."

Some may think that it's just lame,

But honestly THAT tickled my funny bone. Laughs.

Cheers!

Broken - Secondhand Serenade

In the moonlight your face it glows

Like a thousand diamonds i suppose

And your hair flows like the ocean breeze

Not a million fights could make me hate you

You?re invincible yeah it's true

It?s in your eyes where i find peace

Is it broken? can we work it out?

Let?s light up the town scream out loud

Is it broken? can we work it out?

I can see in your eyes you?re ready to break don?t look away

So here we are now in a place where

The sun blends in with the ocean thin

So thin we can stand across from each other

Together we wonder if we will last these days

If i asked you to stay would you tell me that you would be mine?

Or think that we are broken?

And time is all i ask for

Time i just need one more day

And time you?ve been crying too long

Time and you?re tears wrote this song stay

In the moonlight your face it glows

Is it broken? can we work it out?

Let?s light up the town scream out loud

Is it broken? can we work it out?

I can see in your eyes you?re ready to break don?t look away

Beginning of cries.

HE has a way to make everything better.

When its all sad and emo-y,

HE sends people, angels to comfort me.

My heart got shattered.

But everything was okay.

I didn't feel a thing when you said it.

But then, I started thinking.

..thoughts so innocently dangerous as you may say...

Now, teary eyes are haunting me.

They want to fall,

But NO, they resist.

Moments of silence,

with countless of people.

But..

Finally we talked,

Finally it's said.

Now do they fall,

like leaky taps

that's bursting with bliss.

Looked in the mirror,

and asked,

"..why is that human leaking..?"

No answers replied.

Just silent bell ringing.

Sometimes I don't know what's right to say.

I'm afraid of the words,

with prickly thorns, you say.

Nothing can possibly finish this,

the tale has not end.

So here I leave with nothing but

words of The end.

Meta-Confusion

I wish I could.

I would if I could.

I know I shouldn't.

But i didn't for you.

I say I don't lie.

I said I won't cry.

But all I did was lie;

worst in front of you,

with tears falling like snowflakes all night.

Its like my fault.

To have done what I did.

I thought I should,

but now I wish I hadn't.

It hurt when you say I hurt you.

I never meant to hurt you.

I can't stop thinking how much this pain is.

The pain of how brutal it is to see you sad.

No one really ever needs this much thinking.

I do wish I would stop thinking.

But I somehow can't stop thinking about you.

You somehow became my drug.

I have alot of I(s),

and the part where you said we;

will never die.

...is it broken?

Or has the broken just been mended?

I've been so pessimistic about everything. I know I have. You can see that I have too. But you know something? I've come to know that you have become part of my pessimistic life and metamorphically morphing me into a colourful emo being. Laughs. You know how much I love it. I appreciate you FrenchTeddy! Bet on it and I'd never do anything to hurt you.

I don't see how I could with such a cheeful heart, such witty mind, such brightness, super kindness and not to mention all the hearts. I love my kidTeddy. ❤

Choices

Sometimes its so funny how people say they don't have a choice to anything.

Everyone HAS a choice.

It's their choice whether to choose or not.

And saying that they don't have a choice is also part of choosing to say it,

and if one is so unpleased with the things that's happening, then well, is it then right to blame others? or just yourself for not standing up for what you think is right?

Laughs.

Its so funny, like seriously when you see people say they don't have a choice,

But all I see in front of me are people who don't make choices,

and other people makes it for them.

When things turn out sour, they start blaming the others.

People have choices.

Its only easier to say that we don't.

(and some, so that they do not need to get all responsible for whatever happens to it.)

Even people who say they don't have a group or don't belong in a group,

STILL, there's a group for those who are deemed outcasts.

So that just proves that even not belonging has a group to belong to.

And not choosing or chasing what you want is also just a choice not made.

Cheers to making choices!

Cherio ❤

"I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime."

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Emotional Me

I had one of those moments again, when one goes into an emotional wreck and just kind of lose control of their feelings. Well, for me, I call it my "emo" stage.

Was having one of those pessimistic moments.

(But I'm better now thanks to my teddy; though Teddy does not like me calling teddy Teddy.)

Laughs.

From that emo moment,

and the chat,

well, I've come to realise how come some people can't keep their promise.

Or just become jerks like people who say "I'd love you forever."

which is so bull because not all people DO fulfill what they say.

The sentence which caught my attention for the day was...,

"...it's how I feel at the moment.."

So I guess that's why people can't fulfill them.

Cos prolonged, some people eventually lose their feelings; at-the-moment-feeling.

Does this mean that they broke their promises? (if they did promise)

Or does this mean that they didn't think of it through?

As how in Chinese they have this saying, "gong ye mou geng guo dai lou"

literally translating it to "say things didn't pass through the big road",

meaning that some people say without thinking.

Or that they just forgot? or didn't mean it?

Or that, because of their feelings, which is apparently missing, it is an excuse for them to go breaking or not upholding their words?

So the question is that, are words really meant to be kept? ONLY at the moment?

Honestly, it is confusing.

And hurts my mind thinking about it.

Cos maybe I think too much.

But anyhow, I guess the simplest way is to just listen and have no expectations in it.

But it's just sad to have no hopes or something to look forward to with this thinking.

However, risking getting hurt for that few moments of hopefulness, doesn't really seem the worth.

Laughs.

So I guess, life will always be both easy and hard.

But we continue it to hope for the better.

The things we do to be happy and sad at the same time.

Chuckles at life.

Way to go people!

Don't let life or certain people get the best of you!

加油! "Jiayou" (in Chinese for "add oil" which basically means to keep up the good work/ continue to strive on! )

Cheers.❤

Cupcakes vs Muffins

Every time when I'm suppose to be studying,

I somehow get sidetracked to doing something else.

And weirdly, I don't exactly know how I ended up popping to this question:

"What's the difference between a cupcake and a muffin?"

Do you know the difference?

Well, I didn't go check / Google what is or are their differences because,

the pictures says it all.

Now imagine a Butterfly and a Moth.

And you'll see the difference right away. (:

Cupcakes and Muffins;

From their outer appearance,

it's kind of obvious.

As for its taste,

...well, that I'm not so sure.

Haha. But both are equally good in their own ways.

So, without looking at what I'm going to write at the bottom of the pictures,

try guessing what they are.

Let's see if you're lucky.

And by the way, this gorgeous muffin picture (above) was from Flickr.com.

Where alot of the pictures in here are from too.

So anyways, back to the muffin and cupcake thing, some of you might have guessed which are the muffins and which are the cupcakes.

So the answer is.......

That the cupcakes are the ones more decorated and colourful and more attractive.

The muffin is usually brown, or just chocolate brown. Hardly decorated.

So tadaa! Claps for those who got it right!

And for those who didn't, still claps for the sportsmanship!

So don't they look just like the butterfly and moth concept?

Giggles.

For more info about how cupcakes and muffins differ from each other,

here's a website which kind of compares them both,

from ingredients, appearance, to even their history!

(Laughs, so I did actually do my homework after all. :P )

In summary,

1.Cupcakes and muffins are similar in shape

but a cupcake uses a cake recipe and a muffin uses a bread recipe.

2.Cupcakes have been popular confectioners’ treats for years while muffins only gained popularity as coffee houses began popping up across the country.

3.Cupcakes generally have more sugar and frosting and are popular with kids while muffins are made with a variety of stir-ins and accompany coffee.

Lastly, just for laughs,

here's a muffin joke for all you muffin lovers.

(Credits to U.A.E for it)

The muffin said: Why can’t I be cute like the cupcakes?

I replied: Don’t feel bad... you’re ugly… but in a cute way =P

The muffin said: But I want to be CUTE !!!

I replied: Sorry… but… once a muffin… ALWAYS a muffin XD !

The muffin said: Eat shit !

I replied: No… I’ll eat you ! Nyahahahahahahaaaaaaa !

So, that's all for now. Cheers!

Until next time❤