It's a fictional story after all.

Someone once told me,

"You can't always be the good person"

and that you can't be a superhero.

Superheroes; they save others.

Do all the good deeds there are in the world.

Being good to everyone, even the villians.

They are bounded to goodness and restricted with the thinking that they cannot get rid of the baddies no matter how bad they are.

From some point today,

I wanted to be that superhero.

Bounded to be good and all.
But not being able to speak my mind.

Always saying Yes to every idea, even if it is really bad.

and putting up to everyone's crap;
Is something I can't do.
Superheroes may be able to. But mere mortals like myself would rather die than to go through that restriction to express.
So if you can't be neither the victim nor the superhero,
and being a bystander is no option,
The only left default is to be a villain.
And sadly, I became one today.

Had to make the hardest decision ever today.

It was down to friendship or work.

Which would you choose?

For the benefit of others, yourself or your friend?

Some would choose friends over work.

I'm not a workaholic of any sort but the grades are important to me.

This may sound so self centered,
So selfish,
So heartless.
And I know it is, yet, I did it.

It was partly for grades.

It was partly for myself.

But that friend of mine was equally pass the line.

Its no one else's fault but our own.

My dear friend,

I was merely telling you from a friend-to-friend perspective of what I see that is pulling you down. No one told you what it was. Even though everyone saw what it is.

The thing is that we shant be able to be in the same team.

This however does not have to cause us our friendship,

the good times we had.

You know we had them, though not much but the little that we had was all fun.

I pray you will improve on the flaws I told you.

I know I am not perfect as well.
But I try to be aware of whatever crap I did wrong.
To you I must say;
Don't look at the saw dust in other's, but the plank right in front of you.

I don't regret what I have to say to you.

But I'm not proud of it either.

I know I hurt your feelings,

cos if I were in your shoes,

I would have stabbed myself for saying those knifeful words.

I hope we would still be friends.

My expectations aren't high.

I shant want anything.

But for now, just time to heal what has now bled.

At this point,

Sorry isn't the hardest thing to say.
Its the look which I should see.

The voice the I should hear.

That makes words of sentences that I should tell you hard to say.

Everything seemed so easy in my head,

But so hard when its out of it.

The eyes told me you were hurting.

My heart pains with every beating.

I'm sorry.

It's never nice to hurt another, and I should know.

And with the wholeness of my heart, I'm saying sorry.

No one should go through that much pain.
Just so you know, no matter how much you slice water, it will never break.

I hope the cold war will fade.

So the ice won't break.

This is all I can pray for.

Again...

I'm sorry my friend.